You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.
#minutes #childhood #diseases #vaccines #parents #law #immunise #children #individuals #right #support #arguments #evidence
As the world is developing in science , so do diseases, it is very necessary for every individual to prevent them before they affect anyone. I will share some of my ideas and experiences to support my argument.
Firstly
, a vaccine is the most important invention that can eliminate any disease before even affecting anyone, and it does not have side effects. For instance
, it was a horrible experience with covid outbreak, fortunately, we overcame it by using only vaccines, as there were no medicines which could help this
disaster. In short, for most diseases especially those that affect minors, we should prevent them as they can impact their physical or mental growth.
Secondly
, many parents avoid vaccines by saying their child does not have any problem so why do they give their child a vaccine? They need to understand a baby do
not know what is happening to them, and in the first 1 to 2 Correct subject-verb agreement
does
year
of the period they can not even talk, even the doctors get confused sometimes understanding an infant's problem. Fix the agreement mistake
years
Therefore
, it is the parent's duty to avoid major diseases which can be avoided easily. And there are laws as well that tell us that children need to be vaccinated. And, every parent should follow these rules and give their child vaccines on time.
In summary, a vaccine plays a very important role in a baby's life, we should not ignore it. parents need to understand their responsibility for their baby's vaccination. In rural areas laws are not followed properly because of lack of knowledge, the government should also
focus on these areas as well.Submitted by MK on
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task response
Your essay addresses the task prompt adequately, but you can enhance it by providing more specific examples and details. For instance, mentioning additional diseases preventable by vaccines could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is generally coherent, occasionally the flow of ideas could be smoother. For example, the transition between the first and second body paragraphs could be more seamless. Consider using transitional phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the key points, but it could be more impactful by reiterating the main argument more strongly. Ending with a compelling statement can leave a lasting impression on the reader.
task response
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument, clearly stating the importance of vaccines.
task response
You provided a relevant example by mentioning the COVID-19 pandemic, which helps illustrate your point about the significance of vaccines.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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