Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #rest

In the 21st century, human life became more complex and materialistic in nature whereby

people

always seek

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

new ways of leisure.

For instance

, some

people

supported that

entertainment

programs boosted

people

's innovations but others conducted that it will curtail humans peaceful existence. In

this

essay,I will explain both views with relevant examples.

To begin

, most of the creative discoveries and theories are the results of leisure activities because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

mobiles

people

's way of thinking around the world.To support

this

,Newton's theory of gravity and Alexander Fleming discovery of penicillin are the findings during their free time.Apparently, a person's professional development and energetic performance need more mental relaxation because their powerful holidays accelerate self-confidence and self-realisation.

Moreover

, psychological interventions during break time enhance employees physical strength, optimistic attitude, tolerance and acceptance of other

people

. To illustrate

this

, in Norway government only allowed 8 hours of work for their citizen and

rest

Correct article usage

the rest

show examples

of the time they are free of work Resultantly, it reduced 65% of national crime rates and

this

provision made Norway the world happiest country in the world.

However

, there are many disadvantages related to the practice of leisure activities.

Firstly

, nowadays

people

are busy with their life busy whereby using technology for

entertainment

deprived their self-development.

For example

, According to the American psychological

association

Add a comma

,association

show examples

68% of youngsters face sleep deprivation because of their overuse of mobile phones for their relaxation.

Secondly

, there is a growing tendency of competition and cheating between

people

even in their happy moments like using online gambling and playing video games. Reportedly, all these means of programs generate financial theft, suicide and exploitation among common

people

Thirdly

, violence is a deteriorated factor for modern

entertainment

because incidents like gang rap, sex traffic and physical abuse are mostly reported during

entertainment

programs. In conclusion, there is a saying 'a bird without wings'

similarly

every human being need happiness and a peaceful mind.

Therefore

, I strongly recommend

people

's involvement in extracurricular activities but everybody should make sure that their performance always

uphold

Change the verb form

upholds

show examples

human values and social respect.

Submitted by sooryag03 on Wed Jan 12 2022

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

336 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive abilities
mental stagnation
intellectually stimulating
relaxation
meditation
stress reduction
overall well-being
personal development
life satisfaction
sense of achievement
emotional balance
peace of mind
scientific evidence
memory
learning
creativity
emotional regulation

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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What are the effects of this?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Recent technological advancements have made online dating popular. Consider both the positive and negative aspects of online dating and state your opinion on it using examples.