Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #rest

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In the 21st century, human life became more complex and materialistic in nature whereby

people

Use synonyms

always seek

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

new ways of leisure.

For instance

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

supported that

entertainment

Use synonyms

programs boosted

people

Use synonyms

's innovations but others conducted that it will curtail humans peaceful existence. In

this

Linking Words

essay,I will explain both views with relevant examples.

To begin

Linking Words

, most of the creative discoveries and theories are the results of leisure activities because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

mobiles

people

Use synonyms

's way of thinking around the world.To support

this

Linking Words

,Newton's theory of gravity and Alexander Fleming discovery of penicillin are the findings during their free time.Apparently, a person's professional development and energetic performance need more mental relaxation because their powerful holidays accelerate self-confidence and self-realisation.

Moreover

Linking Words

, psychological interventions during break time enhance employees physical strength, optimistic attitude, tolerance and acceptance of other

people

Use synonyms

. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, in Norway government only allowed 8 hours of work for their citizen and

rest

Correct article usage

the rest

show examples

of the time they are free of work Resultantly, it reduced 65% of national crime rates and

this

Linking Words

provision made Norway the world happiest country in the world.

However

Linking Words

, there are many disadvantages related to the practice of leisure activities.

Firstly

Linking Words

, nowadays

people

Use synonyms

are busy with their life busy whereby using technology for

entertainment

Use synonyms

deprived their self-development.

For example

Linking Words

, According to the American psychological

association

Add a comma

,association

show examples

68% of youngsters face sleep deprivation because of their overuse of mobile phones for their relaxation.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there is a growing tendency of competition and cheating between

people

Use synonyms

even in their happy moments like using online gambling and playing video games. Reportedly, all these means of programs generate financial theft, suicide and exploitation among common

people

Use synonyms

Thirdly

Linking Words

, violence is a deteriorated factor for modern

entertainment

Use synonyms

because incidents like gang rap, sex traffic and physical abuse are mostly reported during

entertainment

Use synonyms

programs. In conclusion, there is a saying 'a bird without wings'

similarly

Linking Words

every human being need happiness and a peaceful mind.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I strongly recommend

people

Use synonyms

's involvement in extracurricular activities but everybody should make sure that their performance always

uphold

Change the verb form

upholds

show examples

human values and social respect.

Submitted by sooryag03 on Wed Jan 12 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive abilities
mental stagnation
intellectually stimulating
relaxation
meditation
stress reduction
overall well-being
personal development
life satisfaction
sense of achievement
emotional balance
peace of mind
scientific evidence
memory
learning
creativity
emotional regulation

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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Since traveling abroad has become relatively inexpensive more countries are opening their doors for foreign tourists. Is it a positive or negative trend? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: your reason for writing what you would like to happen a nice, respectful style

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars

Some parents think children should have mobile phones , others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.