IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

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Financial
support
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 from rich
countries
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 for solving
poverty
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 in
third
Linking Words
-world
countries
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 seems unapproachable. Many people argue that developed
countries
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 should offer help for the poor
countries
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 developed. From my perspective, only providing financial aid is hard to help those
countries
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 to develop, but learning from developed
countries
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 with similar experience in-country development, could help them develop efficiently. In terms of the
poverty
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 condition in the poorer
countries
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, rich
countries
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 are unlikely to provide an approachable method for them to develop except with financial aid. Those rich
countries
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 developed based on sufficient finance to
support
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 the national industrial innovation,
such
Linking Words
 as offering a benefit or reducing the limitation for certain industry development.
However
Linking Words
, for supporting poorer
countries
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, it’s hard to apply a similar method to them. Financial aid for poorer
countries
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 can only benefit a small portion of people due to corruption and a lack of financial management ability.
As a result
Linking Words
, those
countries
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 might suffer from more than the problem from
poverty
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 but other problems
such
Linking Words
 as social equity and unsafety which are caused by corruption. In terms of experience from developed
countries
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, they are more possibly to offer an approachable method to help the
third
Linking Words
-world
countries
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 since they successfully improved the
poverty
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 condition. Basically, the
poverty
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 problems relate to the aspect which connects with people daily life,
such
Linking Words
 as transportation, community zone and retailing environment. With the developed
countries
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 offering those experiences to help them reconstruction the urban planning and export technologies to those
countries
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, it’s able to improve the living condition were suitable for living, travelling and commercial trading. Those poorer
countries
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 could improve their financial status to
support
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 other industries developed to be a health circle
as a result
Linking Words
. Overall, I agree that developed
countries
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 offer an alternative approach to helping poorer
countries
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 develop rather than only
support
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 with financial help from rich
countries
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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