IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Fast food is a part of life in some places. Some people think that this has bad effects on lifestyles and diet. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #part #life #places #people #effects #lifestyles #diet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there is no doubt that fast
food
 has become a part of
life
 for a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
people
 all over the world.
Thus
, it has certainly affected the lifestyles of many
people
 all over the world. And from what I have seen, I agree that fast
food
 has bad effects on lifestyles and
diet
. In countries like the United States, fast
food
 has caused a
lot
 of
obesity
 cases in
children
 and adults alike, which will lead to diseases that affect their lifestyle.
Also
, if a child is used to eating fast
food
 since they are young, it is very likely that they will have an unhealthy
diet
 for the rest of their
life
. I will try to explain
further
 within
this
 essay. As we can hear from the news in recent years,
obesity
 rates have risen in the United States and fast
food
 is one of the leading causes of
this
.
Although
 it is probably different in many other countries, I believe it could become a problem in the future if fast
food
 consumption increases. As we know,
people
 with
obesity
 commonly suffer from a
lot
 of diseases.
Such
 diseases are heart disease, diabetes, and many others.
Thus
, it is clear to me that a lifestyle of eating fast
food
 is bad for
people
. A child that has a habit of eating junk
food
 since they are young, will eventually eat a
lot
 of it throughout their
life
. And I think it is not too far fetched of an idea that
this
 is likely. We can see that a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
children
 will prefer tasty foods rather than healthy foods. Which leads to a habit. And an unhealthy
diet
 like
this
 will very likely lead to
obesity
. And returning to my
first
 point,
this
 unhealthy lifestyle is bad for
children
 that are growing up. To conclude my points, eating a
lot
 of fast
food
 will have bad effects on
people
 in general. A
diet
 of eating fast
food
 is not good for
children
 or adults alike. For
children
,
this
 could cause an addiction that will become a habit and as they grew older they probably will have
obesity
. And
people
 with
obesity
, are usually having problems with their health in their
life
.
Submitted by izzyengelbert on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: