I am writing this letter to provide some information about my personal background, demonstrate my study plan in Canada for the Graduate Certificate in Business Analysis programe

#information #background #study #plan #canada #graduate #certificate #business #analysis #programe

Studying in Cannada require

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

to pay

tuitions

Fix the agreement mistake

tuition

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and expenses.

Comparing

Wrong verb form

Compared

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to the previous certifications that I get in Australia and the U.S.A which is around $150,000 to $200,000

averagely

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on averagely

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taking both living

expense

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expenses

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and tuition into account,

this

course is quite affordable with just around $40,000 totally.

These cost

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This cost

These costs

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will be paid from my

saving

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savings

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account, which I have accumulated during years of my

working

Replace the word

work

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. Other than my

professioanl

Correct your spelling

professional

career and education, I am

also

a father of a

Candian

Correct your spelling

Canadian

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girl and my wife who is

also

qualified to visit Canada regularly. We are currently living in Hochiminh city in an affluent residential area located in

Tan

Correct article usage

the Tan

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Phu district. It has been 2 years that my family do not visit Canada due to the pandemic,

therefore

I might take

family

Correct pronoun usage

my family

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to Canada to visit couple

months

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of months

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during my education. In brief, business analyzing and data programming skills are

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high demand in Vietnam and

global

Correct article usage

the global

show examples

market. I want to get the certification to enhance my

knowlege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

and professional career. Thank you for your consideration. Yours faithfully.

Submitted by thaibinh11287 on Fri Jan 14 2022

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

177 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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I am writing this letter to provide some information about my personal background, demonstrate my study plan in Canada for the Graduate Certificate in Business Analysis programe

The Greeting

In the past, buildings often reflected the culture of a society but today all modern buildings look alike and cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. Why is this the cause? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvatanges?

Some workplaces do not ensure the safety of workers who use dangerous equipment rather they would prefer paying liabilities instead. How far fo you agree?

Learning at university would be more effective if men and women were educated separately. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.