Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favor.

On the one hand, those who use smoking
tobacco
may disagree with
this
an
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
idea. They may say cite the various benefits about smoking
such
as
well-known
Add an article
the well-known
a well-known

The noun phrase well-known aspect seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
aspect of smoking is reducing the possibility of obesity etc. Another main argument is the emotional support that smoker receives from cigarettes, meaning that they feel relaxed and
thus
more calm
Replace the words
calmer

You have used the compound adjective more calm. Consider using the comparative form of this adjective.

show examples
.
By contrast
, supporters of reducing cigarettes in public
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places

It seems that place may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
accept
this
regulation.
This
view has
number
Change the article
a number
the number

It appears that the phrase number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

show examples
of believable
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons

It seems that reason may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. Examples can be seen in well
educational
Replace the word
educated

The word educational doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
people having morality, where smoking may be considered
disgusting
Correct article usage
a disgusting

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
.
Besides
from good aspects, there are many disadvantages stemming from cigarettes
such
as lung cancer, cardiovascular disease, and asthma.
Moreover
, being around a various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds

It seems that kind may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of
tobacco
Add a comma
,tobacco

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase around a various kind of tobacco. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users

It seems that user may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
is more harmful than breathing polluted air. From
this
, non- smokers would probably suffer from that impact, meaning that it would be unfair to keep it going.
Finally
, it must be said that both
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
smokers and nonsmokers should respect the interest of each other. To conclude, having
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations

It seems that regulation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
against smoking
tobacco
in
public
Add an article
a public

The noun phrase public building seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings

It seems that building may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
such
as
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants

It seems that restaurant may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and offices
seems
Change the verb form
seem

The singular verb seems does not appear to agree with the plural subject offices. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
to be convenient for society as it is
balanced
Add an article
the balanced
a balanced

The noun phrase balanced solution seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
solution. It would seem that
this
serves the
interest
Add an article
the interest

The noun phrase interest seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of either
tobacco
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users

It seems that user may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and or others.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: