IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.

#people #schools #students #pupils #school #term #option #children #debate #conclusion
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Deciding school is one of
parents
Add an article
the parents
show examples
 more difficult choices. Most people agree that living in a dormitory has considerable benefits;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are valid opinions on both sides.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the debate, and give a concluding view. On the one hand, those who support
dormitory
Fix the agreement mistake
dormitories
show examples
 point out
to
Change preposition
that
show examples
 the cost involving electricity, water, and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
heat is cheaper than
living-off
Correct your spelling
living off
show examples
 campus. Because not all parents (guardians) are in
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same financial situations,
which
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can afford issues
range
Wrong verb form
ranging
show examples
 from accommodation to transportation. Examples can be seen in underdeveloped countries, where their monthly incomes
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
barely cover daily expenses,
Correct word choice
and has
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 numerous boarding schools.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some people feel that students can make effortlessly new friends at once, which helps them to adapt
new
Change preposition
to new
show examples
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
. When the surroundings are changed suddenly, it becomes a tension, and inconvenience for a child.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents of
this
Linking Words
 view highlight the restriction of freedom when someone lives in
such
Linking Words
 places. In
dormitory
Add an article
the dormitory
show examples
, there are various rules for pupils must follow;
besides
Linking Words
, other tenants could bother
such
Linking Words
 issues as parties, noise, games, etc.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is often said that living with others lessens one’s privacy, and there is always
unconstrained
Add an article
an unconstrained
show examples
 conversation about others among peers of the same age.
This
Linking Words
 means that the child feels more insecure and depressed.
For instance
Linking Words
, during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
puberty,
adolescences
Replace the word
adolescents
show examples
 become more sensitive and intense. When they share
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 bathroom, teens could mock each other’s changes. In conclusion, I tend to agree that living outside of the campus is advisable regarding privilege, convenience, and calmness.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: