IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

The use of mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries and shops. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#phones #places #libraries #shops
Recently, it is suggested that people should be prohibited from using telephones in some public areas
such
 as libraries or shops. In my opinion,
although
 the
phone
 brings back certain inconveniences, there are still benefits that should not be ignored. On the one hand, using
phones
 can disturb
others
 when they are concentrating on doing works. Library,
for example
, is a popular choice among students to find academic materials and learn for a long time.
Hence
, if there is incoming call and ringtones from someone, it can annoy and distract
others
 from studying, which results in discomfort for pupils. Especially in music halls or galleries, taking over the cell
phone
 could ruin the experience for
others
.
On the other hand
, mobile
phones
 are supposed to be a device for multiple purposes in daily life. It is common fact that
phones
 can be used for emergencies.
For instance
, if the user is getting lost, they can search for directions through Google map which is an available map platform everywhere. Another reason for
phone
 use is to minimize boredom by listening to music or surfing Facebook during a tedious journey.
In addition
,
phones
 usage could enhance the effection of the job as many businesses man have to contact their customers through their telephone.
Therefore
, if cellular devices are prohibited in
such
 places, people’s daily work will be hindered to a great extent. In conclusion, while a ban on the
phone
 may ensure people’s experience in public places, I think that cell
phones
 should be allowed in public places as long as they are used with respect to
others
.
Submitted by msphuong1234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: