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Band 5

Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated. Does this machine automation have more pros than cons?

#machine #work #automation
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In recent times, equipment that has been implemented for numerous stringent occupations,
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
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 to be enormously complicated. I strongly believe that the positive repercussions
for
Change preposition
of
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this
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 development prevail over the demerits. On the one hand, one chief disadvantage is that machines threaten human jobs inside organizations worldwide.
In other words
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, several citizens lose their positions in the companies
due to
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automation wide
Add a hyphen
automation-wide
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 usage which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to an elevating in the cases of financial deficiencies inside every country. To demonstrate, the security agent whom my uncle used to protect his grocery store, was exchanged for CCTV cameras.
Thus
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, the normal workforce was diminished by the tremendous exploitation of machinery inside industries.
On the other hand
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, mechanical evolvement has various conveniences mainly
rising
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raising
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 the economy of a country.
This
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 means multiple countries have improved their national production which was able to satisfy the market demand.
Furthermore
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, several colossal firms that relied extremely on machines, have invaded international trade with a high rate of profits. As reported in a study conducted by Harvard University in 2010, the revolution of machinery helped the majority of businesses in the USA in order to attend global commerce.
Hence
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, the economic situation of a nation is positively impacted by the involvement of electronic equipment.
To conclude
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, an array of sophisticated machines operated in industrial work took the place of individuals in the companies.
According to
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 my way of thinking, I totally imply that the pros of
this
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 technological revolution, namely augmenting the economy of a country, surpass the cons.
Submitted by eng.ali.hammoud.26 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear main point and uses supporting details appropriately.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task question, discussing both the pros and cons of machine automation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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