Should the government fund the education and healthcare system? What is your opinion?

There is a tremendously controversial perspective heating up a debate whether authorities should allocate their coffer in medical care as well as
educational
Add an article
the educational
an educational

The noun phrase educational system seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
system
. While each has its own redeeming features, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, public money should be spared on schooling because it brings a tremendously decent impact on a country. Due to the fact that the educational
system
is the foundation of a nation, authorities should be constantly concerned with the studying of
people
. If a country has a wealth of potential students but their condition does not allow them to go to school, it will cause a shortage of talents leading to the loss of the economy.
Therefore
, authorities should spare their budget
on
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the educational
system
While the redeeming features of cashing in schooling are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of medical care are ignored. For the time being, there are plenty of pandemics which has arisen at an alarming rate and have to be tackled by the government.
For example
, the Covid-19 pandemic is a dire problem, a lot of homeless and poor
people
cannot afford specific remedies. All of these lead to the high death toll of
people
.
Hence
, the government should invest in the healthcare
system
in order to attain a high chance to cure
people
who are infected. In conclusion, both schooling and medical care should be sponsored by the national budget.
Thus
, it will boost the economy by a strong workforce
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: