Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Children
weight gain is an
rising Change the article
a
issue
everywhere irrespective of regions
and culture. A part of society believes that the increase in Fix the agreement mistake
region
number
of Change the article
a number
the number
children
Replace the word
childhood
obesity
is Change preposition
with obesity
government's
responsibility. I disagree with Correct article usage
the government's
this
opinion becuase
Correct your spelling
because
parents
hold the
ownership Correct article usage
apply
for
their offsprings' Change preposition
of
health
. We will discuss further
on this
topic and exhibit reasons to support my opinion.
Although
, the public point out the governments' inability to take control over today's children
weight issue
, the truth is, it's parents
' responsibility to monitor their children
's eating habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
habits
such
, food
type, quantity and most importantly, their physical activities.
Firstly
, food
types - kids
eating choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
are mostly rely
on sweets and Change the verb form
mostly rely
advertized
foods likeCorrect your spelling
advertised
,
Remove the comma
apply
chacolates
, sweet drinks, pizzas, burgers, french fries and so onCorrect your spelling
chocolates
chocolate
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
Secondly
, intake quantiy
- nowadays, Correct your spelling
quantity
necessity
of Add an article
the necessity
dinning
tables had been Correct your spelling
dining
reduces
, Change the verb form
reducing
reduced
kids
are eating infront
of Correct your spelling
in front
TV
while enjoying their favourite TV program, in result eating more Add an article
the TV
then
necessary. Replace the word
than
For example
, my sister is an
working Change the article
a
women
and she couldn't spend time with her son Change the noun form
woman
instead
she just fulfiled his requirements. He used all his pocket money to eat unhealthy food
and in huge quantily
by the end of Correct your spelling
quantity
year
he gained 15 kgs. It could have Add an article
the year
could have
stopped at Remove the redundancy
apply
Correct your spelling
beginning
begining
, if my sister Correct article usage
the begining
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
attentation
Correct your spelling
attention
on
his eating Change preposition
to
habbits
.
Correct your spelling
habits
Thirdly
, due to security issues
moms and dads are prefer Add a comma
,issues
therie
Correct your spelling
there
the
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
be
inside the home and play. Fix the infinitive
to be
Thus
Correct your spelling
This
results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
children
addiction to mobiles, TV, vedio
games. in other Correct your spelling
video
wordls
, a Correct your spelling
words
worlds
survery
had been Correct your spelling
survey
conductred
by the Correct your spelling
conducted
health
department in US
Correct article usage
the US
at
2020 Change preposition
in
reveled
the truth behind the real cause of Correct your spelling
revealed
obesity
. A decate
ago Correct your spelling
decade
kids
used to play outside that helped them physical
active Replace the word
physically
also
they spent more time ouside
and ate less Correct your spelling
outside
food
. Whereas now kids
endup
in home and they grabbed the Correct your spelling
end up
habbit
of eating all day while Correct your spelling
habit
rabbit
perfoming
action. Correct your spelling
performing
This
ineffect
lifestyle Correct your spelling
in effect
playing
Wrong verb form
plays
major
role Add an article
a major
on
weight gain.
To conclude, Change preposition
in
instead
of government parents
are resposible
for the Correct your spelling
responsible
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
obesity
issue
. They are entitled to watch them and indtroduce
them to Correct your spelling
introduce
health
life.
To conclude, Replace the word
healthy
instead
of government parents
are resposible
for the Correct your spelling
responsible
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
obesity
issue
. They are entitled to watch them and indtroduce
them to Correct your spelling
introduce
health
life.Replace the word
healthy
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- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
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