Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children

Children

weight gain is

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rising

issue

everywhere irrespective of

regions

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region

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and culture. A part of society believes that the increase in

number

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a number

the number

show examples

children

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childhood

show examples

obesity

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with obesity

show examples

government's

Correct article usage

the government's

show examples

responsibility. I disagree with

this

opinion

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

parents

hold

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ownership

for

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show examples

their offsprings'

health

. We will discuss

further

this

topic and exhibit reasons to support my opinion.

Although

, the public point out the governments' inability to take control over today's

children

weight

issue

, the truth is, it's

parents

' responsibility to monitor their

children

's eating

habbit

Correct your spelling

habit

habits

such

food

type, quantity and most importantly, their physical activities.

Firstly

food

types -

kids

eating

choice

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choices

show examples

are mostly rely

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mostly rely

show examples

on sweets and

advertized

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advertised

show examples

foods like

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apply

show examples

chacolates

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chocolates

chocolate

, sweet drinks, pizzas, burgers, french fries and so on

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

Secondly

, intake

quantiy

Correct your spelling

quantity

- nowadays,

necessity

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the necessity

show examples

dinning

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dining

show examples

tables had been

reduces

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reducing

reduced

show examples

kids

are eating

infront

Correct your spelling

in front

Add an article

the TV

show examples

while enjoying their favourite TV program, in result eating more

then

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than

show examples

necessary.

For example

, my sister is

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working

women

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woman

show examples

and she couldn't spend time with her son

instead

she just fulfiled his requirements. He used all his pocket money to eat unhealthy

food

and in huge

quantily

Correct your spelling

quantity

by the end of

year

Add an article

the year

show examples

he gained 15 kgs. It could have

could have

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

stopped at

Correct your spelling

beginning

begining

Correct article usage

the begining

show examples

, if my sister

payed

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paid

show examples

attentation

Correct your spelling

attention

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show examples

his eating

habbits

Correct your spelling

habits

Thirdly

, due to security

issues

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,issues

show examples

moms and dads are prefer

therie

Correct your spelling

there

the

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

Fix the infinitive

to be

show examples

inside the home and play.

Thus

Correct your spelling

This

show examples

results

Add the preposition

inresults

fromresults

show examples

children

addiction to mobiles, TV,

vedio

Correct your spelling

video

games. in other

wordls

Correct your spelling

words

worlds

, a

survery

Correct your spelling

survey

had been

conductred

Correct your spelling

conducted

by the

health

department in

Correct article usage

the US

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

2020

reveled

Correct your spelling

revealed

show examples

the truth behind the real cause of

obesity

. A

decate

Correct your spelling

decade

ago

kids

used to play outside that helped them

physical

Replace the word

physically

show examples

active

also

they spent more time

ouside

Correct your spelling

outside

and ate less

food

. Whereas now

kids

endup

Correct your spelling

end up

in home and they grabbed the

habbit

Correct your spelling

habit

rabbit

of eating all day while

perfoming

Correct your spelling

performing

action.

This

ineffect

Correct your spelling

in effect

lifestyle

playing

Wrong verb form

plays

show examples

major

Add an article

a major

show examples

role

Change preposition

show examples

weight gain. To conclude,

instead

of government

parents

are

resposible

Correct your spelling

responsible

for the

kids

Change to a genitive case

kid's

kids'

show examples

obesity

issue

. They are entitled to watch them and

indtroduce

Correct your spelling

introduce

them to

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

life. To conclude,

instead

of government

parents

are

resposible

Correct your spelling

responsible

for the

kids

Change to a genitive case

kid's

kids'

show examples

obesity

issue

. They are entitled to watch them and

indtroduce

Correct your spelling

introduce

them to

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

life.

Submitted by gomathi10.ch on Sat Jan 15 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
65Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

365 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

policies
responsibility
health and well-being
education and awareness programs
childhood obesity
food advertising and labeling
unhealthy food
supportive environments
recreational facilities
collaboration
healthcare providers

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Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it is a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the world cup, and that the money would be better spent on other things. However, others think that hosting large sporting events has a clear, positive impact on a coutry. Discuss both views

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?

Nowadays, learning have gained in popularity but some people argue that courses can never be as good as those taken by attending a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Economic growth is one way to measure a country’s success, but what else should we look at? Which do you think is the most important?