Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

A few citizens believe that building more
sports
facilities
is the best way to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply

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public
Correct your spelling
health

The word heath doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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heath
Correct your spelling
health

The word heath doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
However
, another
argue
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argument

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that
this
would have a few
impact
Change to a plural noun
impacts

The singular countable noun impact follows the quantifier few, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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on public
heath
Correct your spelling
health

The word heath doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and that other measures and necessary . In my opinion ,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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strongly agree with the
first
idea that the new reform would
brings
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bring

The verb brings after the modal verb would does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun lots in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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of benefits to the public
heath
Correct your spelling
health

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and citys.
This
essay will discuss
boths
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both

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points of view. About building more
sports
facilities
is the hottest problem that
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun lots in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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of citizens argue . I don'
t
think the new
sports
centres wouldn'
t
attractive
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attract

The word attractive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the
people
in the
citys
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city
city's

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.
Firstly
,
at
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in

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the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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free
Fix the agreement mistake
time

It seems that times may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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times
Add a comma
,times

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase at the free times. Consider adding a comma.

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they can come and try to train their body.
Although
it takes a lot of your time, the result you get is a healthy, strong and elegant body.
Secondly
, going to the gym and exercising every day can help you stay healthy and reduce your risk of dangerous diseases. In the present life, to continue studying and working in harsh environments requires a great deal of stamina. So for the body to function well and
perfect
Add a missing verb
be perfect

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at work according to me at least. We have to spend 30-40 minutes a day
to practice
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practicing

To practice doesn’t seem to work here.

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. For that reason, building
sports
and wellness
centers
Change the spelling
centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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is one of the strategies of cities to improve the quality of their companies and employees.
Finally
,
sports
centers
Change the spelling
centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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will
also
be very attractive to young
people
who are passionate about
sports
. With an ideal space and a large number of professional mentors, young
people
and school clubs will flock here with great frequency. The income of the
center
Change the spelling
centre

The spelling of center is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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will be outstanding and thrive in the
area
, thereby leading to the propaganda of good
health
in the surrounding
area
. On the other
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side

It seems that sides may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, others argue that the construction of
facilities
,
sports
and
health
centers
Change the spelling
centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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will bring impacts on the
people
and children in the
area
. Some
people
also
think that it is sluggish because it does not receive the attention of the
people
in the
area
, leading to bankruptcy when there is not enough money to maintain. I disagree with the above opinion for several reasons as follows.
First
, I don'
t
think new constructions or companies won'
t
attract many visitors, it will be extremely impressive to everyone and
people
in the
area
. From there, there will be a lot of attention and research from
people
coming to that place.
Secondly
, the new
sports
and public
health
centers
Change the spelling
centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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or
facilities
will be strongly approved and trusted by parents and the public because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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specificity.
Health
issues are always popular and healthy, for those who do not have time to exercise as well as care about their
health
or are even lazy. These problems will be solved quickly and perfectly, without being fussy and expensive, but still ensuring everyone's
health
. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion

The word conlusion is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, building the new
sports
àn
heath
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health

The word heath doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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centres will help the community improve the special life and
familys
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family

The word familys is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

. I
hopes
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hope

It appears that the subject pronoun I and the verb hopes are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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that nowadays the
people
can see the benefit of
its
Correct pronoun usage
it

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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and continue to build and develop the general
health
of the human community.
Submitted by hnphu79 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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