Some people believe that it is the government’s responsibility to provide care and finance to support people after they retire. Others, however, think that individuals themselves should save money in their own when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In return to people’s devotion during the labour age comes
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
show examples
that government should subsidize them after retirement.
Nevertheless
, many support individuals self-charged to avoid burden to society.
Although
both views appear reasonable, I honestly believe governors must take
care
of old people Those who assert that it is individuals charged to take
care
of themselves indicate the mitigation of
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
burden. In simple words, as the life expectancy escalated gradually, countries with rapidly
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
populations must allocate more money and resources to their health
care
systems.
Consequently
,
this
disproportionate amount of money substantially increased the burden on governments' budgets, which resulted in the collapse of existing funding to tackle pressing issues like the housing crisis or disease pandemic. A well-known example includes India, where a surge in welfare and publicly funded programs hinder existing systems from handling the growing prevalence of chronic diseases while
also
addressing the needs of large and expanding senior populations.
Nevertheless
, a leading cause to deny
this
argument is the reimbursement for retirees' perseverance during their
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
age. Norway's high welfare payments are a salient example of high taxation returns in generous public assistance. At
this
place, people enrich the national budget by devoting their time and effort to the country's development, meaning that citizens contribute to taxes raised. The authorities can distribute these taxes
further
to develop their country,
such
as building hospitals, upgrading infrastructure, and paying for officials. The result is that by way of compensation for old contributors' devotion in their youth, money-related assistance and
care
services are introduced to the elderly,
for example
, free-of-charge health checkups or retirements home. It implies that governments’ subsidies provision appears acutely pivotal as recompense for
labor’s
Change the spelling
labour’s
show examples
dedication. In recapitulation, even though the personal accumulation alleviates the strain on public funding, it cannot disclaim the urge to
equipped
Wrong verb form
equip
show examples
senior civilians with proper welfare programs in response to their determination.
Thus
, it is necessary to grant
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
an expense to meet demands on leisure and healthcare systems at their retirements
Submitted by thanh.jenny on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: