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Band 5.5

Nowadays, children watch TV more than they did in the past. What are the reasons? Give solution.

#children #tv
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In
this
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 neoteric era, technology has revolutionized the lives of people. Nowadays, young ones depend on more electronic gadgets for entertainment rather than in past
such
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 as computers, television, and so on.
This
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 essay will elucidate the causes and remedies of the aforementioned notion in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, in
this
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 competitive era,
parents
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 are busy in their hectic schedule of
life
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 and they want to become successful in their professional
life
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 and
this
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 rat and cat race they forget their personal responsibilities, concomitantly, they do not have
time
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 to spend with their growing buds.
Hence
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, to get rid of their monotonous
life
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 children entertain themselves by watching shows on television which has a significant devastating impact on their social and physical development. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in the past mothers were responsible for the upbringing of their juveniles and they spent their most
time
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 with them and
thus
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 they had no
time
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 to watch movies.
Moreover
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, in the 1980s there was not only digital equipment were unavailable in the homes but
also
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Add an article
the
show examples
electricity was
also
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 a problem at that
time
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.
Furthermore
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, to get rid of
this
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 problem,
parents
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 ought to encourage their loving ones to do physical activities in their leisure
time
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instead
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 of spending it in front of the television screen.
In addition
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 to it,
parents
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 should try to make a balance between their professional and personal
life
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 so that they will be able to spend their quality
time
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 with young ones. Apart from that, they indulge them in co-curricular activities so that they should use their brilliant minds not only in a positive direction but
also
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 in creating innovative ideas which simultaneously helps them for their multifaceted development
instead
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 of disarraying their idle mind in wrong directions. Agglomerating, the above statements I conclude that
parents
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 should keep their keen eye on their children because they are not enough mature to make their own decisions.
Hence
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,
parents
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 should assist their growing buds to set their schedules.
Therefore
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, they have been able to spend their leisure
time
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 in a positive way.
Submitted by harman1992narain on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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