IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people support the idea of imposing taxes on fossil fuels (oil, coal, and gas) in order to reduce energy consumption. Others disagree with this approach. Consider the debate and its arguments, and come to your own conclusion

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Natural resources are the great invention of humankind, it is used widely in each and every sector of our world. Some argue that taxes should be imposed on these,
however
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, some oppose
this
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 idea. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss
further
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 to come to a conclusion.
Firstly
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, Fossil Fuels are used more commonly than anyone can ever think of,
However
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, people use them carelessly most of the time.
For example
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, at a traffic stop, no one turns off their vehicle, and fuel gets burned all the time even when the vehicle is stopped. Many government departments offer free fuel and other related services to their employees as employee benefits, which they misuse, because, they don't have to pay. They should understand the value of our God-gifted resources, and, imposing fees can help them understand how valuable these energy sources are.
Secondly
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, By using fossil fuels, it creates carbon footprints, which is impacting our environment very badly. Scientists believe, that each day our world is facing natural disasters,
due to
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 carbon emissions.
Furthermore
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, it is
also
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 affecting our health as well.
Such
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 as, asthma is more common in children these days, which was a rare disease a decade ago. There are other solutions as well,
such
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 as focusing on solar energy or using electric vehicles but it is not efficient at the moment.
To conclude
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, it is necessary to do something about the usage of energy, as it is very concerning for our environment. There are many solutions to avoid over-consumption, but applying charges on natural resources can have a great impact on reducing consumption.

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task achievement
The essay discusses both sides of the argument and provides a clear conclusion. However, some ideas could be further developed with more specific examples and data. Try to elaborate on the benefits and drawbacks of imposing taxes on fossil fuels by including statistics or real-world cases.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is methodically structured and the arguments are clear, the transitions between ideas can be smoother. Linking sentences that connect each paragraph more fluidly would improve coherence. Consider using transitional phrases like 'in addition,' 'moreover,' or 'on the other hand.'
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, setting the context and summarizing the arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure throughout, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints and provides a final stance, which is essential for task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy
  • economic impact
  • regressive tax
  • alternative strategies
  • energy conservation
  • public transportation
  • green infrastructure
  • global cooperation
  • consistency
  • accountability
  • polluter pays principle
  • sustainable development
  • energy efficiency
  • fiscal policy
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental sustainability
  • energy policy
  • tax incentives
  • climate change
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