IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Higher education could be funded in three ways. All costs paid by government, all costs paid by students or students paying all costs through a government loan. What are the advantages of these choices?

#education #three #costs #government #students #loan #choices
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In the 21st century, the field of education changed a lot with t more technical and financial management.
For instance
Linking Words
, the welfare states and
students
Use synonyms
 funded their knowledge in different ways. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 three types of Ideas related to the subject and discuss
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 positive results. Nowadays, there are plenty of
governmental
Replace the word
government
show examples
 schemes and financial aid policies for
students
Use synonyms
. The main benefits of these provisions are,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will give
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
new hope
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 talented
students
Use synonyms
 from poor
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 because technical and medical courses are more expensive.
Secondly
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, in developing and underdeveloped countries the problem of women illiteracy and school dropouts will reduce extensively due to
this
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 support.
For example
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, According to the Central Ministery of Human Resource Management in India suggested that Government educational scholarships for single girl
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 reduced 65% of illiteracy and dropouts.
Thirdly
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,
students
Use synonyms
 became more relaxed and confident because they do not want to worry about family's financial loss due to their studies.Another key thing to remember,
students
Use synonyms
 will study more to get the scholarship because of that they can get good results in their exams.
However
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, there are many advantages vested on
students
Use synonyms
 themselves paying their educational costs. Reportedly, it enhances their responsibility and outstanding performance in studies
otherwise
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, they cannot overcome their financial situations To illustrate
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
, in Sweden government only allowed higher education
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 for already employed
students
Use synonyms
.Resultantly, these policies contribute
economic
Change preposition
to economic
show examples
 development and
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 more creative changes in the minds of youngsters.
In other words
Linking Words
, it helps them to learn how to manage money in our life and
gathered
Wrong verb form
gather
show examples
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
show examples
 of knowledge for constructing a meaningful life. Apparently, whoever
paying
Wrong verb form
pays
show examples
 their College fees
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot
involved
Change the verb form
involve
show examples
anti-social
Change preposition
in anti-social
show examples
 activities , crimes and alcoholism because
students
Use synonyms
 are always engaged with part-time jobs and study tasks. In
this
Linking Words
 way, they can get the money and a good job for their future survival. In conclusion, there is a saying 'a coin has two sides'
similarly
Linking Words
 government support and self-payment both results
positive
Change preposition
in positive
show examples
 outcomes. So whoever
wishe
Correct your spelling
wishes
wish
 to help
students
Use synonyms
 make sure that it will definitely generate their intellectual social and financial development.
Submitted by sooryag03 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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