Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to the society and should be payed more than entertainment and sports celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

#doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #entertainment #sports #celebrities

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In these contemporary times, entertainment and

sports

Use synonyms

celebrities

Use synonyms

are well-paid,

while

Linking Words

in comparison with them, doctors, nurses, and teachers' salaries may seem insufficient. Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that they are deserving of receiving a higher salary than those

celebrities

Use synonyms

because their presence is necessary for our society.

Although

Linking Words

I agree with the opinion that being a public servant is a great job, I do not believe that their wages should be higher than those of successful

people

Use synonyms

Firstly

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, it is certainly true that achieving fame as an entertainer or

sports

Use synonyms

player requires a high level of potential and fortune. Until the day when

people

Use synonyms

acquired those occupations, they would need to undertake significant endeavours. Not only

this

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, it is not always true that all

people

Use synonyms

who pursue

such

Linking Words

glorious fame can be famous.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is no surprise that they make a lot of money.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, It is

also

Linking Words

not easy to be in

such

Linking Words

professions as doctors, nurses, and teachers, as those entail exceptional skill and knowledge.

However

Linking Words

, since those occupations are in high demand and numerous compared to entertainers or

sports

Use synonyms

players, it is impossible to increase their salaries one by one.

Furthermore

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, if everyone could be an entertainer, many

people

Use synonyms

would aim to be one, but the fact is that only rare and unique

people

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can become

celebrities

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. In conclusion, even though professional jobs

such

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as doctors, nurses, and teachers are vital in

this

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society, unlike them, entertainment and

sports

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players are more special occupations.

Therefore

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, if those professional jobs' wages are higher than those of

celebrities

Use synonyms

, their work would be worthless.

Submitted by songcheng619 on Wed Jun 28 2023

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task achievement

You should ensure that your opinion is clear and not ambiguous. Your stand wasn't clear in your introduction. Make sure to articulate your viewpoint explicitly.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks clear paragraphation. Support one idea per body paragraph in detail rather than discussing multiple ideas in one paragraph. Remember, clarity first!

lexical resource

Consider using a broader range of vocabulary to express your ideas. Try avoiding repeated vocabulary. The range of lexical resource plays a significant role, particularly with regards to synonyms.

grammatical range

Ensure your sentences are grammatically correct and make sense. Keep working on your grammar accuracy and use of punctuation. Re-read your sentence after writing to make sure it's grammatically sound.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

contribution
essential services
long hours
stressful
well-being
development
entertain
inspire
exorbitant salaries
unfair
talented individuals
professions

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Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to the society and should be payed more than entertainment and sports celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

“Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.”

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialise with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision.

People in your area are having problems with their internet connections. Write a letter to this company which provides the connection. In your letter Describe the problems. Explain how they are affecting people Say what the company should do to help.