Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social, and commercial, perspectives. Which are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures

It is an unavoidable reality that

children

are under lots of

pressure

from school, society and

workplace

Correct article usage

the workplace

show examples

This

essay intends to discuss the causes of these pressures and the way to alleviate the problem. I believe

children

must be shielded from

such

mounting

pressure

by holding some counselling sessions to help them out of some serious mental problems. The main

pressure

comes from school since nowadays because of the social media, students should compete not only with the

child

door, or even of one’s town or country, but

also

they must be in competition with the

child

of the global village.

Moreover

, the parent’s expectations are not realistic these days.

Therefore

children

should tolerate a huge amount of stress.

For example

, the majority of guardians force their

child

to be a doctor, whereas they are totally aware that it’s not their

child

passion. To overcome

this

situation, the educational institutions must arrange some counselling classes for students and their guardians to discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

issues and tell them these situations would be perilous for

child’s

Correct article usage

a child’s

show examples

health and they can cause some mental diseases like stress, heart attack and anxiety. So,

although

parents are really interested in having a successful

child

, putting lots of

pressure

on them will have reverse

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

. In conclusion, since

children

are living in a modern age, they have to be in competition with all the world.

Moreover

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unrealistic parents' expectations might cause some mental problems for

children

Therefore

, it is a great idea to tackle

this

problem with some counselling sessions in school for

children

and their parents.

Submitted by rossieltsacademy on Sun Jan 16 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic pressure
globalized world
competitive education system
social media influences
cyberbullying
commercial pressures
aggressive marketing
materialistic desires
peer pressure
high expectations
standardized testing
quantifiable performance
stress and anxiety
extracurricular achievements

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Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social, and commercial, perspectives. Which are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that, art and drama are as important as other school subjects especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so they should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?