IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The international community must act immediately to ensure all nations reduce consumpation of fossil fuel (gas and oil). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often said that one of the most important responsibilities for the international community is ensuring all nations reduce the consumption of fossil fuels
such
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 as gas and oil. From my point of
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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view, I completely agree with
this
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 idea.
Firstly
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 ,one of the conspicuous reasons for
this
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 argument is
,to
Correct word choice
that,to
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 conduct
this
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 operation by the international community
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 amount of pollution
to
Verb problem
needs to
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 be diminished.
For example
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 ,in most industrial countries
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as India
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is one of the biggest producers of coal in the world ,we all know
in
Correct word choice
that in
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 most of its cities
there
Punctuation problem
, there
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 is a high pollution level
Rephrase
apply
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also
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 ,
people
Correct word choice
and people
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 regularly suffer from respiratory problems.
This
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 means that to conduct some activities in order to reduce the use of fossil
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
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fuel
Punctuation problem
fuel,
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 these problems can be diminished.
Also
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 ,they will disappoint in the near future.
Therefore
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 ,
this
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 makes it clear why the consumption of fossil fuels should be reduced
in addition
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 to stopping.
Secondly
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 ,another reason is protecting animals ,especially those
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
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 endangered species
such
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 as
Cheetas
Correct your spelling
Cheetahs
 and Lizards.
For instance
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 ,most of the population in the world
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
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 to use their personal vehicles
instead
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 of
exploiting
Verb problem
using
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 bikes and public transport systems.
This
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 could create a dire situation for all animals because of
burning
Correct article usage
the burning
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fossil
Change preposition
of fossil
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 fuels by our cars.
This
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 would cause
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 will become extinct.
As a
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result
Punctuation problem
result,
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to legislate
Change preposition
by legislating
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 a rule that consuming fossil
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
 should be diminished international community can create a place for all creatures to live on the Earth safely. To summarise ,I strongly believe that exploiting gas and oil should be reduced
even
Correct word choice
or even
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 halted. It is predicted that to do
this
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operation
Punctuation problem
operation,
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 our world will proceed to become a suitable place for living without any trouble in the near future.

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language
Work on grammar and sentence structure to reduce long, run-on sentences.
structure
Use clear topic sentences and link each idea to the question with simple transitions.
content
Give more specific and clear examples that show why reducing fossil fuel use helps.
proofreading
Check spelling and punctuation to avoid small mistakes that slow reading.
task response
The essay shows a clear position on the topic.
coherence
There is a basic plan with first and second points.
content
The writer tries to connect pollution and animal life to the issue.
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