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Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

#people #hobby #trend
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Shopping used to be a routine domestic activity but it is counted as
an
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apply
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entertainment by many
people
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 nowadays. In fact, it is a positive trend in
this
Linking Words
 busy modern
life
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 because prevent
people
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 from staying at home and thinking about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
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 issues.
In addition
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,
people
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 tend to fill their leisure time with shopping
instead
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 of unhealthy hobbies. Shopping is one of the beneficial amusements that distract
human's
Correct article usage
the human's
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 mind from thinking about
life
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 difficulties.
People
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 who prefer indoor activities in their free
times
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time
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 are threatened by mental disorders
such
Linking Words
 as depression and
anxious
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anxiety
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 due to
human's
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the human's
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 brain
tendency
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tends
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 to focus on negative points in indoor places. In
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contrast
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contract
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contrast
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, the busy atmosphere of shopping malls and the energetic
musics
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music
kinds of music
pieces of music
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 that are played in them stimulate our brain to secret dopamine hormone causing happiness and hope.
An
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A
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 psychological investigation revealed that
people
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 who shop once or twice a week are 60%
in
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at
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lower
Correct article usage
a lower
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 risk of depression in comparison to the group who do not shop weekly.
Additionally
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,
people
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 have replaced their unhealthy hobbies
such
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 as going to restaurants and bars with shopping in the
last
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 two decades. The attractive products and
colorful
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colourful
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 stuff in shopping centres are an incentive for citizens to walk around the stores resulting in burning a noticeable amount of calories.
Therefore
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, it protects them from serious diseases
such
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 as high blood pressure, heart attack and stroke. A recent study on an Iranian population reported that the number of Iranians are experiencing heart
attack
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attacks
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 has been decreased by 20% since they started going to shops on a regular basis. In conclusion, shopping is considered as an interesting entertainment for all
people
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 around the world nowadays and it is a helpful activity due to assisting us not to think about
life
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 problems in our spare time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is a healthy task as we burn many calories in shopping malls.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • retail therapy
  • materialism
  • disposable income
  • economic growth
  • financial instability
  • environmental impact
  • social interaction
  • community building
  • emotional satisfaction
  • advertising influence
  • shopping habits
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