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In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

#people #hobby #trend
Shopping used to be a routine domestic activity but it is counted as
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
entertainment by many
people
 nowadays. In fact, it is a positive trend in
this
 busy modern
life
 because prevent
people
 from staying at home and thinking about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 issues.
In addition
,
people
 tend to fill their leisure time with shopping
instead
 of unhealthy hobbies. Shopping is one of the beneficial amusements that distract
human's
Correct article usage
the human's
show examples
 mind from thinking about
life
 difficulties.
People
 who prefer indoor activities in their free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 are threatened by mental disorders
such
 as depression and
anxious
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anxiety
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 due to
human's
Correct article usage
the human's
show examples
 brain
tendency
Replace the word
tends
show examples
 to focus on negative points in indoor places. In
Correct your spelling
contrast
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contract
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contrast
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, the busy atmosphere of shopping malls and the energetic
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
show examples
 that are played in them stimulate our brain to secret dopamine hormone causing happiness and hope.
An
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A
show examples
 psychological investigation revealed that
people
 who shop once or twice a week are 60%
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
 risk of depression in comparison to the group who do not shop weekly.
Additionally
,
people
 have replaced their unhealthy hobbies
such
 as going to restaurants and bars with shopping in the
last
 two decades. The attractive products and
colorful
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colourful
show examples
 stuff in shopping centres are an incentive for citizens to walk around the stores resulting in burning a noticeable amount of calories.
Therefore
, it protects them from serious diseases
such
 as high blood pressure, heart attack and stroke. A recent study on an Iranian population reported that the number of Iranians are experiencing heart
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
 has been decreased by 20% since they started going to shops on a regular basis. In conclusion, shopping is considered as an interesting entertainment for all
people
 around the world nowadays and it is a helpful activity due to assisting us not to think about
life
 problems in our spare time.
Moreover
, it is a healthy task as we burn many calories in shopping malls.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • retail therapy
  • materialism
  • disposable income
  • economic growth
  • financial instability
  • environmental impact
  • social interaction
  • community building
  • emotional satisfaction
  • advertising influence
  • shopping habits
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