Many people are afraid of leaving their homes because of their fear of crime. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be done. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #homes #fear #crime #believe #action

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Some people have fear before they leave their houses because of the increased criminal activity.While others say that government has to take any action in order to avoid evil scenes.

However

,others say small things can be done with significant change. In

this

essay,I will discuss both sides and give the necessary opinion. On the one hand,some people are aware of criminal activities that are happening around in their areas.

Firstly

,to avoid fearsome situations public is scared to leave their places during night times. To illustrate

this

,there is an increased number of evil scenes,murders and robberies, because of the community of the negative

situation

position community seeks help and a proper security system.

Secondly

,Neighbours need proper street lights and security systems,surveillance of cameras everywhere in the cities and towns can decrease the corruption rates. To give an example,most crime situations in the cities are happening in quiet places,less crowded places.

Therefore

,trained military and police forces are needed to stop

this

fear of corruption.

On the other hand

,some others say that crime is an unavoidable

situation

because the common man doesn't know where and which

situation

happens to him or her

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when they are alone in the streets or a place.

Moreover

, a lot of criminals don't have afraid, when they are committing any misconduct activities.

Furthermore

,training police professionals and media can help the public by giving some notifications about criminal activities and criminals in particular neighbourhoods by posting their portfolios in newspapers and magazines.

This

awareness about misconduct place helps people of the neighbourhood to be careful and prevent crimes. In conclusion, I believe that investigation of crime scenes and proper awareness can avoid

this

negative

situation

. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they are criminals in and around, we cannot avoid the possibilities of crimes in some positions.

Submitted by ar050682 on Sun Jan 16 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

quality of life
freedom
community-based initiatives
neighborhood watch
effective policing
surveillance
deterrence
education programs
social programs
root causes
surveillance state
security measures
statistical analysis
perceived fears
inevitability
mitigation
personal responsibility
self-protection
media influence
public perception
balance of freedom and security

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