IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Individuals can do nothing to help improve the environment. Only government and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #environment #government #companies #difference
It is believed by some experts that people cannot do anything to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and they consider just
Correct your spelling
lawmakers
show examples
law makers
Correct your spelling
lawmakers
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 and multinational corporations can support
this
 issue.
Therefore
, I agree with
this
 aforementioned notion
of
Change preposition
apply
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because
government
Add an article
the government
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 should organise campaigns.
Although
,
Add an article
an individual
the individual
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 should take the responsibility to overcome
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 issues. On the one hand side, some superiors prefer that only higher authorities and other industries are
responsible
Replace the word
responding
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the protection of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 rather than the citizens of a society.
Moreover
, with the help of making
such
 kind of strictest rules.
For example
, governments should allow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
noise free
Add a hyphen
noise-free
show examples
 machines for the production of goods in companies which can stop to rise noise pollution.
Although
, they should organise awareness campaigns for providing knowledge about the importance of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and how can they protect their livelihoods.
Additionally
, large industries should use eco-friendly products which can recycle time to time.
Also
, they should use
noise free
Add a hyphen
noise-free
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machineries
Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
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 which can create no pollution and give a big hand to protect the green areas.
On the other hand
, just government and large organisations cannot solve these issues but
also
 individuals should take the responsibility and they should use that type of products which can
recycle
Wrong verb form
recycled
show examples
 easily in less time.
Furthermore
, they should plant
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of trees in their gardens and
also
 in other areas of their towns. Because, by plantation of trees, they can grow insects which can help us to make a
Change the verb form
balanced
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balance
Correct your spelling
balanced
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 cycle between the people. In conclusion, I reckon that higher authorities and large corporations can be helpful to improve the environment.
Howbiet
Correct your spelling
Howbeit
, individuals
also
 should take the responsibility to support the environmental issues.
Submitted by ankeshsaini100 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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