In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays most of the
world
population is adopting Change noun form
world's
western-style
Change the capitalization
Western-style
fashion
. The purpose for
doing Change preposition
of
this
is to make ourselves comfortable and that’s a good thing. However
, on the other side, there is a negative impact on our current and upcoming generation
, because we are losing our Fix the agreement mistake
generations
tradition
and Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
culture
.
In the current time, everyone is trying to wear western-style
clothes because those styles are more trendy and more relaxed to wear. Jeans pants, Change the capitalization
Western-style
3 piece
suits or T-shirts are usually Add a hyphen
3-piece
are
part of Unnecessary verb
apply
western
Capitalize word
Western
fashion
. By the way
that’s true if we follow Add a comma
way,
western
clothing Capitalize word
Western
then
we can easily gel-in
in Correct your spelling
gel
the
Change preposition
into the
western
community and get a feeling Capitalize word
Western
to be
part of that society. Whoever follows that Change preposition
of being
fashion
, then
people surrounding them start making some irrelevant perception that these people are wealthy and they are more educated and more powerful.
It's not bad that we are following western
clothing but at the same time, we Capitalize word
Western
have
keep in Add the particle
have to
our
mind that we have our own Correct pronoun usage
apply
culture
and own
Correct word choice
apply
values
. We have to keep those traditions alive otherwise
, our upcoming generations will not see our culture
, what our forefathers made, and that will be the end of that culture
.
In my opinion
following completely Add a comma
opinion,
western
Capitalize word
Western
culture
is a negative thing because it is vanishing our own values
. But I agree on this
point as well, that to move with the world we cannot completely leave western fashion
. We have to keep in mind that we have our values
and at least on traditional occasions we have to wear our traditional clothes so in this
way our future generation at least will be connected to our values
.Submitted by shanafzal on
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task response
Make sure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. In this essay, you have discussed the reasons for wearing western-style dress and explored the positives and negatives of this development. However, you could have provided more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point and contributes to the overall coherence of the essay. However, make sure to use transitional words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is varied and appropriate for the topic. However, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary and synonyms to further enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Overall, your essay showcases a good command of grammar. There are some minor grammatical errors throughout the essay, such as incorrect verb usage and word order. Proofread your essay carefully to eliminate these mistakes.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.