In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays most of the
world
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world's
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population is adopting
western-style
Change the capitalization
Western-style
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fashion
. The purpose
for
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of
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doing
this
is to make ourselves comfortable and that’s a good thing.
However
, on the other side, there is a negative impact on our current and upcoming
generation
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generations
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, because we are losing our
tradition
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traditions
show examples
and
culture
. In the current time, everyone is trying to wear
western-style
Change the capitalization
Western-style
show examples
clothes because those styles are more trendy and more relaxed to wear. Jeans pants,
3 piece
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3-piece
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suits or T-shirts are usually
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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part of
western
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Western
show examples
fashion
. By the
way
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way,
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that’s true if we follow
western
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Western
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clothing
then
we can easily
gel-in
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gel
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in
the
Change preposition
into the
show examples
western
Capitalize word
Western
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community and get a feeling
to be
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of being
show examples
part of that society. Whoever follows that
fashion
,
then
people surrounding them start making some irrelevant perception that these people are wealthy and they are more educated and more powerful. It's not bad that we are following
western
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Western
show examples
clothing but at the same time, we
have
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have to
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keep in
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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mind that we have our own
culture
and
own
Correct word choice
apply
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values
. We have to keep those traditions alive
otherwise
, our upcoming generations will not see our
culture
, what our forefathers made, and that will be the end of that
culture
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
following completely
western
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Western
show examples
culture
is a negative thing because it is vanishing our own
values
. But I agree on
this
point as well, that to move with the world we cannot completely leave western
fashion
. We have to keep in mind that we have our
values
and at least on traditional occasions we have to wear our traditional clothes so in
this
way our future generation at least will be connected to our
values
.
Submitted by shanafzal on

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task response
Make sure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. In this essay, you have discussed the reasons for wearing western-style dress and explored the positives and negatives of this development. However, you could have provided more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point and contributes to the overall coherence of the essay. However, make sure to use transitional words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is varied and appropriate for the topic. However, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary and synonyms to further enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Overall, your essay showcases a good command of grammar. There are some minor grammatical errors throughout the essay, such as incorrect verb usage and word order. Proofread your essay carefully to eliminate these mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • cultural homogenization
  • western-style dress
  • traditional clothing
  • cosmopolitan
  • modernity
  • fashion preferences
  • cultural identity
  • conformity
  • practicality
  • multinational corporations
  • socio-economic factors
  • cross-cultural
  • cultural appreciation
  • diversity
  • influence
  • heritage
  • textiles
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