There is an increasing trend of old people living longer in many countries around the world. Do you think this has a positive or a negative effect on the population as a whole?

Nowadays, old humankinds are seem to live longer than before
in
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apply
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worldwide, and the number of
people
age
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
increasing in many countries. I believe
this
trend has more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
than
drawblack
Correct your spelling
drawback
drawbacks
of the
population
but
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
still
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
some negative
impack
Correct your spelling
impact
impacts
for
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on
show examples
people
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people's
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life
. In the past, the
averange
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average
age
of
humans
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human
show examples
life
was around
60s
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the 60s
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to 70s.
In today
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Today
show examples
, data
showed
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
the number of
people
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
around
Change the article
the 80s
show examples
80s
Correct your spelling
80
to 100s, and in
Japan
Add a comma
Japan,
show examples
the oldest
age
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
over 100. Eventually, countries in worldwide populations are increasing
years
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year
show examples
by
years
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year
show examples
, as we have new generations plus elderly
people
.
With
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Without
show examples
no
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
doub
Correct your spelling
doubt
,
this
is a positive development as old
people
can live longer to enjoy their
life
, and young
adult
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adults
show examples
can
spned
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spend
more
times
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time
show examples
to be with
thier
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their
parents.
For instance
, if a professor
such
as
,
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apply
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a doctor or a
scentist
Correct your spelling
scientist
could live
untill
Correct your spelling
until
100
years
old so that, he could
tranfers
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transfer
transfers
his
profession
Replace the word
professional
show examples
knowledge to others who might
needs
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need
show examples
more experience for work. With the negative
impack
Correct your spelling
impact
for
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on
show examples
population
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the world will suffer more and more because we have more citizens to live in a
county
Correct your spelling
country
show examples
but the natural resources are
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
less and less.
Therefore
,
people
are
worring
Correct your spelling
worried
maybe
Correct word choice
that maybe
show examples
one day in the future, we might lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
water or electricity in our society.
For example
, in Malaysia the
population
has increased
40
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by 40
show examples
% compared with
in
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apply
show examples
the past five decades,
people
are using a lot more energy, the houses and buildings are
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
in
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apply
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everywhere.
As a result
,
scentists
Correct your spelling
scientists
have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
mentioned
early
Rephrase
earlier
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
national energy might be finished in 60
years
. In summary,
most
Change preposition
in most
show examples
countries around the world the number of
olderly
Correct your spelling
older
people
age
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
increasing, and
this
trend has pron and cons
impack
Correct your spelling
impacts
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
population
.
However
, I believe most
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
perfer
Correct your spelling
prefer
to see
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
family live as long as possible.
Although
this
could have some negative
impack
Correct your spelling
impacts
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
nearly 90% of the
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
enjoy
this
screnrio
Correct your spelling
scenario
.
Submitted by junechan822 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a more well-organized structure. Consider placing each main point in a separate paragraph to make your ideas flow more logically.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear introduction that outlines your main points and a conclusion that summarizes your key arguments. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Try to support your main points with more specific examples and explain how they relate to your argument. This will make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving your vocabulary to make your essay easier to read and understand.
task achievement
You made a clear effort to address the task by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of the increasing trend of older people living longer.
task achievement
Your essay shows thoughtfulness regarding the implications of longer life expectancy, such as the benefits of elderly knowledge and concerns about resource scarcity.

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