There is an increasing trend of old people living longer in many countries around the world. Do you think this has a positive or a negative effect on the population as a whole?
Nowadays, old humankinds are seem to live longer than before
in
worldwide, and the number of Change preposition
apply
people
age
are
increasing in many countries. I believe Change the verb form
is
this
trend has more benefit
than Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
drawblack
of the Correct your spelling
drawback
drawbacks
population
but is
still Unnecessary verb
apply
have
some negative Correct subject-verb agreement
has
impack
Correct your spelling
impact
impacts
for
Change preposition
on
people
Change noun form
people's
life
.
In the past, the averange
Correct your spelling
average
age
of humans
Change the noun form
human
life
was around 60s
to 70s. Change the article
the 60s
In today
, data Change preposition
Today
showed
the number of Wrong verb form
shows
people
life
Replace the word
living
are
around Change the verb form
is
Change the article
the 80s
80s
to 100s, and in Correct your spelling
80
Japan
the oldest Add a comma
Japan,
age
are
over 100. Eventually, countries in worldwide populations are increasing Correct subject-verb agreement
is
years
by Fix the agreement mistake
year
years
, as we have new generations plus elderly Fix the agreement mistake
year
people
. With
Change preposition
Without
no
Correct determiner usage
a
doub
, Correct your spelling
doubt
this
is a positive development as old people
can live longer to enjoy their life
, and young adult
can Fix the agreement mistake
adults
spned
more Correct your spelling
spend
times
to be with Fix the agreement mistake
time
thier
parents. Correct your spelling
their
For instance
, if a professor such
as,
a doctor or a Remove the comma
apply
scentist
could live Correct your spelling
scientist
untill
100 Correct your spelling
until
years
old so that, he could tranfers
his Correct your spelling
transfer
transfers
profession
knowledge to others who might Replace the word
professional
needs
more experience for work.
With the negative Change the verb form
need
impack
Correct your spelling
impact
for
Change preposition
on
population
is
the world will suffer more and more because we have more citizens to live in a Unnecessary verb
apply
county
but the natural resources are Correct your spelling
country
become
less and less. Wrong verb form
becoming
Therefore
, people
are worring
Correct your spelling
worried
maybe
one day in the future, we might lack Correct word choice
that maybe
of
water or electricity in our society. Remove the preposition
apply
For example
, in Malaysia the population
has increased 40
% compared with Change preposition
by 40
in
the past five decades, Change preposition
apply
people
are using a lot more energy, the houses and buildings are build
Wrong verb form
built
in
everywhere. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, scentists
have Correct your spelling
scientists
been
mentioned Unnecessary verb
apply
early
Rephrase
earlier
the
national energy might be finished in 60 Correct your spelling
that
years
.
In summary, most
countries around the world the number of Change preposition
in most
olderly
Correct your spelling
older
people
age
are
increasing, and Correct subject-verb agreement
is
this
trend has pron and cons impack
Correct your spelling
impacts
for
the Change preposition
on
population
. However
, I believe most people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
perfer
to see Correct your spelling
prefer
they
family live as long as possible. Correct pronoun usage
their
Although
this
could have some negative impack
Correct your spelling
impacts
but
nearly 90% of the Correct word choice
apply
people
are
enjoy Unnecessary verb
apply
this
screnrio
.Correct your spelling
scenario
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coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a more well-organized structure. Consider placing each main point in a separate paragraph to make your ideas flow more logically.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear introduction that outlines your main points and a conclusion that summarizes your key arguments. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Try to support your main points with more specific examples and explain how they relate to your argument. This will make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving your vocabulary to make your essay easier to read and understand.
task achievement
You made a clear effort to address the task by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of the increasing trend of older people living longer.
task achievement
Your essay shows thoughtfulness regarding the implications of longer life expectancy, such as the benefits of elderly knowledge and concerns about resource scarcity.
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