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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

#countries #people #areas
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Nowadays, in some countries, there are
Correct your spelling
tendency
tendancy
Correct article usage
a tendancy
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
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people
Use synonyms
 to
showing
Wrong verb form
show
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interested
Wrong verb form
interest
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 in
city
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 from
village
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 due to
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
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better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
Use synonyms
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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.
However
Linking Words
, for
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
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 the
city
Use synonyms
 usually
suffer
Change the verb form
suffers
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with
Change the preposition
from
show examples
 some difficulties
such
Linking Words
 as
over crowded
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overcrowded
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, traffic congestion and job
inabilability
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unavailability
. On one hand,
in
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on
show examples
Add an article
the country
show examples
Correct your spelling
countryside
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country side
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countryside
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, there is
lot
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a lot
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 of lack of modern facilities.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 no educational institutions at
university
Add an article
the university
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 level so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
after completing their college degree students need to move
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 for their higher study.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
Use synonyms
village
Add an article
the village
show examples
, not enough job opportunities, and
this
Linking Words
 forced
to
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apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to
shif
Correct your spelling
shop
shift
 in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
 that ensure earnings.
Finally
Linking Words
, there is not enough public health care in rural areas,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 hospitals, ensure
people
Use synonyms
 proper
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health
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heath
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health
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, but
unfortunetly
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unfortunately
lact
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last
list
 of hospitals forced
people
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 to live in urban areas. To sum up, lack of educational institution, hospitals and job opportunity
casusing
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causing
people
Use synonyms
 pressure to move
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
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 from
Use synonyms
village
Add an article
the village
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a massive number of
people
Use synonyms
 moving from
contryside
Correct your spelling
countryside
 causing some problem in
city
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 like traffic congestion,
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, when a huge group of
people
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 come to a
place
Use synonyms
 sudden
this
Linking Words
 lead those
place
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over crowded
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overcrowded
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, which means they do not have enough
place
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
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;
as a result
Linking Words
, accommodation problems are increasing day by day.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 massive number
peoples
Change preposition
of peoples
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also
Linking Words
 affect on
transportation
Add an article
the transportation
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 sector, huge populations means huge
vehecales
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vehicles
ndeeds
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needs
 that means its lead to traffic congestion. To conclude,
city
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 facing difficulties by
people
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 who are moving from
village
Use synonyms
.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion, moving one
place
Use synonyms
 to another(
village
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
) for
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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 beneficial
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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, but, in the end,
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
suffer
Change the verb form
suffers
show examples
 or lose its behaviour.
Submitted by hsn.rzb on

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