IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talent, for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #talent #sport #music #child #sports #musician
In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world, if
people
 focus on child's
abilities
, they would
provided
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 situations for developing
that
Change the determiner
that talent
those talents
show examples
talents
. Overall, some
people
born
Add a missing verb
are born
show examples
 with specific
abilities
 in
sport
 or musician.
However
, someone claimed any child can be a superb musician or
sports person
Correct your spelling
sportsperson
show examples
.
This
 essay will discuss these views. Possibly, based on my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
,
people
 who are born with certain talent
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Selena Gomez in musician
filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
. She is a famous singer that has flourished when she was three. So, child's show their
abilities
 in childhood at all.
In addition
, most successful guys in art or
sport
 have
talents
 since they were born.
Consequently
, stars in
sport
 fields
such
 as Messi
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 was born with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
wonderful talent in football and he is a powerful player. So, most successful
people
 have
amazing
Add a missing verb
had amazing
show examples
talents
 since were born and others should
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 hard to
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 a star. In spite, someone maintained that everyone can be a star and
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 in
sport
 or music. They believed trying more and
hard working
Correct your spelling
hardworking
show examples
 are essential and have
preference
Add an article
a preference
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
talents
 or
abilities
. Based on
this
 view, all children with education and
hard
Correct your spelling
hardworking
show examples
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 can be a star, but in my eyes,
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
show examples
 goals in art fields and sports just with
hard working
Correct your spelling
hardworking
show examples
 an education without any skills or
talents
 are vain. To conclude, some
people
 are born with certain
abilities
 as
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 and others without any
talents
 should work hard and educate to achieve their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: