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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to have temporary jobs, which means they only work a few months in a year and use the rest of the time to do what they want. What is your opinion?

#people #jobs #work #months #year #rest #time
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Several representatives of contemporary society prefer to be hired in temporary
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
.
Thus
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, they deem that they can
work
Use synonyms
 for a couple of weeks and go on vacation
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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different
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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. From my perspective, it can not be denied that
this
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 statement is composed of a fraction of the truth.
Therefore
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, I am going to reflect on
this
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 essay my own view of
such
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 a tendency and to provide strong arguments, which confirm my position. On the one hand, the population must have an occupation. In my opinion, the core job should be coherent with the person’s qualification.
However
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, it would be unfair not to mention the fact that a large number of people changes their degree after leaving universities and colleges and often embark to learn a new qualification.
Likewise
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, some people change multiple workplaces in order to find themselves.
Besides
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, employees often disappear their motivation because of troubles in workplaces
such
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 as lower level of wages, a lot of tasks from employers, overloading.
Hence
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, some companies should provide different internships for beginners in order to assist them to choose a desirable occupation.
On the other hand
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, some experts allege that
Use synonyms
persons
Replace the word
people
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 prefer to alter their workplaces in order to have a lot of free time for leisure purposes. From my point of view, one of the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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main reasons why experts contend
such
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 consists of the lower level of hardworking of
such
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persons
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. As far as I am concerned, some students do not interest
into
Correct your spelling
in to
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make
Change the verb form
making
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 a career or
be
Wrong verb form
being
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 recruited
in
Change preposition
by
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 huge corporations.
Furthermore
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, contemporary possibilities of social media have an enormous impact on the population and trigger certain repercussions for it.
For instance
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, the Internet provides
various
Add an article
a various
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 online
workplace
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
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 for
persons
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 and several of them contemplate that it is not necessary to go to
work
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,
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apply
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 when they can
work
Use synonyms
 at home in desirable for
Change the pronoun
their
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them
Correct your spelling
the
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 time.
Likewise
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, humans can organise their lives and activities with regard to the online job.
Nevertheless
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,
such
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persons
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 are minor and the majority wants to be qualified employees, rather
Correct your spelling
than
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that
Correct your spelling
than
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 unskilled. To sum up, I would stress that having made these points, it is true that
such
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 a tendency incurs criticism.
Nonetheless
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, only
persons
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 must decide upon for themselves, which type of
work
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 they prefer.
Submitted by sunsistem123 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • pursue
  • self-development
  • life satisfaction
  • balance
  • job security
  • financial instability
  • stress and anxiety
  • unemployment
  • long-term financial commitments
  • diverse experiences
  • employability
  • broader perspective
  • adaptable
  • innovative
  • career progression
  • benefits
  • personal growth
  • financial security
  • invest
  • career milestones
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