The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Towns A and B in two years, 1960 and 2010.

The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Towns A and B in two years, 1960 and 2010.
The bar charts compare the proportion of
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
population in three distinct sectors between
Town
A and
Town
B
in 1960 and 2010.
Overall
, the
sales
sector had the biggest workforce in both
Town
A and
Town
B
in 1960.
However
, there were some significant changes in 2010,
while
the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufacturing accounted for the main part in
Town
A, the highest
figure
was the
sales
in
Town
B
. In
town
A, 41% of people worked in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sales
in the 1960-2010 period, which was higher than that of the
services
, at 30%. the lowest
figure
in
Town
A was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufacturing, at only 29%.
However
, after 50 years, the percentage of workers who participated in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufacturing in
Town
A sharply increased to 64%, which was higher than the
sales
, at only 20%. The
figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
services
dropped to 16%. In 1960,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sales
accounted for 70% in
Town
B
, which was the highest part of the
town
.
Besides
, 20% of
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
show examples
took part in the
services
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the same year, compared to 10% of the manufacturing. In 2010, the
figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sales
had a decreasing trend to 53% in
Town
B
,
whereas
that of the
services
slightly grew up to 22%. In 2010, the percentage of employees who worked in the manufacturing sector was 25% in
town
B
.
Submitted by sharmilahdevi290895 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words town, b, sales, figure, services with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: