IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #business #company #organisation
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The bar chart illustrates the number of males and females who enjoy in
free
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time
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 of different employment
status
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. Overall, it can be seen that the employed part-
time
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 and
housewives
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status
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 did not have the number of males. According to the figure of the
leisure
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time
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, unemployed and retired
status
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 were similar same
hours
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 enjoyed by men and
women
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 with the vast majority and three quarters respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, full-
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 employees spend for
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a free
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time
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 around 45
hours
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 by males and approximately near 40
hours
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 by females.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
housewives
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status
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 enjoy 50
hours
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 of
leisure
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time
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 in a typical week that it is the amount just
women
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 as followed a figure they only
women
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 can be
housewives
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. in part of employed part-
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status
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 which results look like the
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 that they only have the amount of
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 enjoyed by
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, by the contrast, the amount of employed part-
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 has lower that
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 it just 40
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 which they spend on
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.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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