mobile phones have changed the way many people communicate. Nowadays people cannot live without them if they want to be a part of sociaty. to what extend do you think this is true?

#phones #people #part #sociaty

We have been living in the so-called century of information technology for the

last

around one-

third

of a century, maybe not. During

this

period, our life has changed significantly. The main reason for

this

improvement is absolutely mobile phones that have completely changed people's communication from before society. Nowadays, some people say that we cannot live without mobile phones. In my opinion, it's maybe true for them at the present time.

However

, I cannot strongly agree.

For instance

, my phone alarm woke me up

this

morning. I washed my teeth according to how to clean my teeth on youtube. I watched the weather on my smartphone after I decided what clothes to wear. Perhaps, if I didn't have a smartphone, I can't imagine

this

morning.

However

, I haven't talked about people's communication yet. Let's continue my little story. I taught 8th grade in period one. But, some students have been learning from home. I again used my mobile phone to connect with them.

Thereafter

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

I have to teach year 12, we decided to continue online to keep our distance

Change preposition

from

show examples

the pandemic. If I had not had a mobile phone, I would not have thought the student was at home and maybe would neither get nor give infection. End of the day, I called my lovely mother who lives in the far west. I fell in love with each call. As we usually talk to each other like we live together. My handphone has provided me with all

this

possible.

Therefore

, my smartphone is valuable to me.

Submitted by u.aduuch on Thu Jan 20 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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mobile phones have changed the way many people communicate. Nowadays people cannot live without them if they want to be a part of sociaty. to what extend do you think this is true?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

With growing number of populations in cities. Many people are living in small homes that don’t have outdoor spaces. Is this a positive or negative development?

Internet access helps young people and workers achieve their study and work goals more easily than before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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