IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest?

#influence #beings #world #ecosystem #extinction #species #loss #bio-diversity
Disappearance
Add an article
The disappearance
show examples
 of some types of
animal
Add an article
the animal
an animal
show examples
 together with
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
show examples
 of flora and fauna were mainly due to the
inbalance
Correct your spelling
imbalance
show examples
 of
natural
Add an article
the natural
a natural
show examples
 system to the earth, caused by men and women.
Negative
Add an article
The negative
show examples
 impact of globalization which may lead to
pollution
 of
water
,
air
 & sound, deforestation, loss of wild
animals
 and global warming are among top causes that
ecovariety
Correct your spelling
eco variety
deco variety
 of the globe. As
such
 there are
numereous
Correct your spelling
numerous
 ways of protecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
 and nature. Increase
volues
Correct your spelling
volumes
 of transportation, heavy uses of natural resources, interconnections across
Correct your spelling
borders
show examples
boarders
Correct your spelling
borders
show examples
 due to globalization has been the main reason for
air
,
water
 and sound
pollution
 which leads to threatening
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the continuity of the world natural ecosystem and causing destruction or death to some of the valuable creatures on earth. Damaged to
ozen
Correct your spelling
ozone
 layer,
pollution
 of
sea
Correct your spelling
seawater
show examples
water
, polluted
air
 in metropolitan cities are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 examples caused by globalization.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
 deforestation has been the main influencer in global warming which is again a severe risk that people and
animals
 will have to face in near future. Protective actions to preserve the bio-diversity can be started by limiting the transportation both by sea and
air
 to reduce the
pollution
 to
air
,
water
 and sound. Recently we evidenced that
damaged
Replace the word
damage
show examples
 to
Ozen
Correct article usage
the Ozen
show examples
 layer was self repaired due
limited
Change preposition
to limited
show examples
 or no travelling by
air
 and sea
as a result
 of
pandemic
Correct article usage
the pandemic
show examples
 situation which prevailed in 2020/2021 due to COVID-19. Limiting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fossil
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
 and encouraging renewable energy sources
such
 as solar power and electricity can not only improve the
air
 quality, but it will
also
 limit the resources
exshaution
Correct your spelling
exhaustion
 in
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it should be
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
 that
humen
Correct your spelling
human
 activities
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 direct impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
continuity
Add an article
the continuity
show examples
 of
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
 and
disappearance
Correct article usage
the disappearance
show examples
 of some of the
animals
 from
the
Change preposition
around the
show examples
 globe. Having said so, there are ways that people can still protect or control the negative impacts caused by their activities to the
ecovariety
Correct your spelling
eco variety
deco variety
 of the planet.
Submitted by al on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • habitat destruction
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • overexploitation
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • sustainable practices
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • ecosystems
  • species population
  • genetic diversity
  • environmental awareness
  • protected areas
What to do next:
Look at other essays: