Despite the benefits for health, fewer people today than ever before exercise by walking. Why is this problem? What can be done to encourage more walking?
Nowadays,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
are doing walking exercise
which is the
Change the article
apply
one
of the physical exercises although
, there are a lot
benefits for humans healthy. Add the preposition
oflot
This
essay will discuss the problems of why people
do not do walking training and also
, this
essay will suggest probable solutions for encouraging people
to do more walking practices.
First
of all, people
have some reasons for why they do not do walking exercises and one
of the causes are hard-working. The people
must work
hard for earning money. For ,example on ,average they work
a job for about 8 hours
and add on their daily lifetime
Replace the word
life
a
transportation and sleeping Correct article usage
apply
time
which is these
are 2 and 8 Correct pronoun usage
apply
hours
respectively so that
they do not have a lot of free Correct word choice
apply
time
for doing exercise
or hobbies. Besides
, one
of the major problems is the lack of an empty area. Most of the cities have a lot of construction like houses, apartments and shopping centres these days and that is
why people
sometimes do not find training areas when they want to do exercise
. Because of these reasons, fewer people
do exercise
by walking.
One
of the possible solutions is fewer working times. Nowadays, most people
do not find that free time
for doing exercise
and If government
should get a working rule which is people
can work
most
6 Correct your spelling
almost
hours
in a day, they can find a free time
for themselves. In addition
, the government
should do more exercise
areas instead
of doing construction. In other words
, If People
can find more than more areas, they can do more walking practices.
In conclusion, while people
have some reasons such
as lack of free time
and having empty area, especially government
can help to take overcome these problems. For example
, the government
can do more practice zone and take a working rule which is employees can work
most
6 Correct your spelling
almost
hours
a day.Submitted by gokaygoksu9898 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!