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Band 4.5

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#internet #books #air #tickets #groceries
In recent years it has become more and more popular for
people
 to shop for their needs and wants on the internet.
This
 may be because most
people
 prefer shopping from the comfort of their homes rather than going in person to the actual shops.
However
, there are some drawbacks to
this
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 shopping online. One advantage of online shopping would be that at
this
 time of the year with covid and so on it is much safer for
people
 to shop online to protect themselves from the recent outbreak of covid 19. Another point about shopping online would be that you would have a wide variety of
products
 and discounts on all the
products
 so it will be easier to find the
product
 that you want. My final point on shopping online would be that while shopping online
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
saves you loads of time to get more and more stuff done rather than going to multiple stores to get different
products
.
On the other hand
, online shopping can lead to multiple cases of fraud because most
people
 would input their credit card details on sketchy websites
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 would result in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hackers stealing their money from their bank accounts.
In addition
, a delay
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the arrival date of their
product
 could result in the
product
 arriving way after the initial date. My
last
 point to consider
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 would be that you would not be able to see the
product
 on whether it's good or not so you would receive the
product
 and realise that
this
 isn’t what you
initially
 wanted. To sum up, online shopping can have a negative impact on buyers, but it
also
 has many advantages. Personally, I think that online shopping saves precious time that we all need in our busy lives and you have a wider range of
products
 to choose from.
Submitted by z.pfister on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-saving
  • wide selection
  • competitive prices
  • discounts
  • accessibility
  • global marketplace
  • availability
  • fraud
  • scams
  • lack of
  • physical interaction
  • personal experience
  • impersonal
  • customer service
  • delays
  • delivery
  • return process
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