IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Television dominates the free-time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others. Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#television #free-time #people #reason
For the number of ,
people
television
 is the best friend of free
time
 ,which make them sedentary and isolates them from the world before that idiot box , I agree with the statement and will elaborate in detail with some example in the essay. After inventing of
television
 the number of
people
 taking part in sports and physical activities dropped greatly in developed as well as
third
 world countries ,
additionally
Add a comma
,additionally
show examples
 it had reduced social meetings among all age groups from children to the elderly because
television
 programmes are scheduled in
such
 a way that most interesting dramas and documentary fall on most active
time
 like in the early evening when
people
 want to go for walk ,muscle training activities or seeing each other, eventually keeping them home. During their favourite serial ,
time
 viewers do not want to get disturbed so they try to avoid calling friends and family or receiving their phone calls ,
therefore
 , adding to their social isolation and
this
 will go every day,seven days a week, on other hands fewer chances of socialization and physical activity. As
time
 goes they get tied up with the TV and its transmission , forgetting or ignoring events happening away from it ,even skipping attending birthday and marriage functions for the sake of
television
.
Although
 they are aware that they are getting lazy , their love for tv does not let them work it out for good health and makes them vulnerable to the disease of the cardiovascular system. To sum up,
television
 is a self-invited demon in the households which make them mentally as well as physically ill still
people
 enjoy the demon happily and cheerfully ,so I fully agree that
television
 dominates the free
time
 of
people
 making them physically idle and socially cornered.
Submitted by mahesh029 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: