Caring for children is important in any society. All parents should be required to take childcare courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #society #parents #childcare #courses

There is no denying that child caring is

getting

Verb problem

becoming

show examples

important in our community, so some

people

say that all parents should learn and take courses

how

Change preposition

on how

show examples

to take care of their

children

. In my opinion, I do not agree with

this

opinion as parents need to spend a lot of time and if there are barriers, it can lead to decreasing the birth rates. On the one hand, there is a persuasive argument that educated parents are essential for their young

people

Additionally

, a growing number of individuals do not know how to deal with their

children

nowdays

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

due to

the lack of knowledge about caring for their

children

For example

, recent studies have shown that a number of

people

request counselling at their community centres as they have a troubled relationship with their young individuals in the United States.

On the other hand

, there are more disadvantages to taking childcare courses because of several reasons. The most conspicuous one lies in the fact that individuals do not have enough time to take a childcare course.

Furthermore

, if there are boundaries for having a baby, it can affect the birth rate, and eventually,

people

probably decide not to have their babies.

This

is true among young generations who are busy with their work, so they rather choose to give up

to be

Change the verb form

being

show examples

a mother in South Korea. In conclusion, there is a common belief that taking childcare courses is helpful for becoming a good parent.

However

, it is apparent that those kinds of policies can make barriers for many of the young generations who wish to have

children

in the future.

Submitted by hmhy0326 on Tue Jul 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

childcare
parenting
knowledge
skills
nurturing
child development
behavior
safety
accidents
injuries
nutrition
healthy eating
well-being
parent-child relationship
family dynamic
discipline
boundaries
autonomy
confidence
stress
anxiety
community
consistent care
quality care
society

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Caring for children is important in any society. All parents should be required to take childcare courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very importatnt for people. Why misht this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree this this statement?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that current environment issues are global problems and should therefore be dealt with by the government, while others believe that these problems can only be tackled by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The increase in the production of consumer consumption goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this and what can be done to solve this problem?