IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

unemployment is one of the biggest problem of contempory society. What do you think are the main cause of unemployment.what Solutions can you suggest?

#unemployment #contempory #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays in modern societies lack of Job has become a major problem.
This
 essay will articulate some causes of
this
 problem as new technology inventions and growing
population
 and purpose some possible solutions to alleviate them. To commence with, one of the main
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
 of unemployment is technology. To explain it, many companies prefer to use
machines
instead
 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 because they think that
machineries
Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
show examples
 work without any mistake.
For example
, a survey was conducted by
‘worker
Correct article usage
the ‘worker
show examples
 union’ in 2016, found that most of the people are jobless because most of the factories are using
machines
instead
 of
Add an article
a human
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. As a Solution,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should start new projects in which there is less use of
machines
 so that individuals get
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, another cause of unemployment is
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
population
 of the world.
In other words
, due to
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
show examples
 in
population
, employment is decreasing day by day because there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of jobs.
For Instance
, the article was published in ‘The New York Times’ revealed that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
number
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 of jobs as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 in the world. To solve
this
 problem,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should make strict laws against
growing
Add an article
the growing
show examples
population
 to provide jobs to individuals. In conclusion,
tere
Correct your spelling
there
 are various causes of unemployment in
contempory
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 society like technology and
population
. So,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should make laws to control
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 and start new projects in which
uses
Correct article usage
the uses
show examples
 of
machines
 are less
Submitted by Rajkhyaliya334 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: