IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many things can influence the academic achievement and emotional growth of a student. In this regard, peers have more of an impact than teachers do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#influence #achievement #growth #student #peers #impact #teachers
Some people think that schoolmates have a significant effect on the academic performance and emotional development of a student than educators do. In my opinion, I think that classmates are more impactful as academic motivation while educators serve as a more righteous guide to students’ emotional maturity.
First
, it has been proven that peers are more motivated when performing under pressure. Now there is a ranking system between class members and have more competitions to choose the academic championship. If with healthy practice, these stimulations can put learners forward in the academic race so they have to do their best,
therefore
, in
this
 case , peer rivalry brings about a greater effect on individual success.
Second
, at the same time, school personnel can provide emotional orientation for students due to their experience in life. Young learners are often prone to emotional dilemmas because of their lack of experience.
Moreover
, educators with a lengthier lifetime are able to provide mental support to back their students up from difficulties that they are facing. In
this
 regard, the advice from teachers would be more helpful than from peers, who might have not seen enough in life to come up with the best solutions. In conclusion, I partly agree with the statement, as teachers and friends affect each individual in different aspects. While peers’ competitions can improve students’ academic achievement, support from teachers can be more efficacious to their sentimental well-being.
Submitted by xuandoanminh2014 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: