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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two maps below show as island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps below show as island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The maps depict the development of an
island
Use synonyms
 before and after the building of accommodation facilities for welcoming tourists.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the above picture illustrates how the
island
Use synonyms
 was before the construction, the map below shows the creation
Change preposition
of tourism
show examples
tourism
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
 attractions and living accommodations. In the past,
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
 the small groups of palm trees
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the east and
west
Use synonyms
 of the
island
Use synonyms
, the
overall
Linking Words
 spaces were empty.
According to
Linking Words
 the construction plan, the piers of landing boats were established in the south of the
island
Use synonyms
 which is
also
Linking Words
 the beginning point of the vehicle road. The track leads to the reception centre and ends at the new restaurant which is located near the sea. The residential areas were built to the east and
west
Use synonyms
 of the reception centre. Regarding the accommodation in the
west
Use synonyms
 which is nearer to
beach
Add an article
the beach
show examples
 than the living area to the east of the reception, it was constructed surrounding the existing palm trees. Each house
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the eastern side
walk
Change the verb form
walks
show examples
 to each other via footpaths.
This
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 the same for the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
west
Use synonyms
 housing area which is
also
Linking Words
 connected directly to the beach and a swimming facility. Even though many human buildings were created on
this
Linking Words
island
Use synonyms
, no natural resources were cut down
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 destroyed.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, overall".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island, west with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • before and after
  • transformation
  • infrastructure
  • natural features
  • network of cottages
  • footpaths
  • recreational areas
  • pristine environment
  • organized lodging facilities
  • strategically positioned
  • delineated pathways
  • untouched nature
  • accessibility
  • isolated island experience
  • enhanced transportation options
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