Nowadays many people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of news. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Some
people
believe that getting a university
degree is the best path to succeed in life, while
others think that ones
Replace the word
one
do
not need to graduate from a Correct subject-verb agreement
does
university
to become successful. In this
essay, I will be discussing both views and giving my opinion.
Nowadays, a standard to be employed in a good company in order to earn a high salary is to have a university
education. In other words
, most organizations require their employees to have at least a bachelor's degree. For instance
, in Thailand, a degree from a particular university
can determine what company each person can join, which is the more reputable university
, the better job position. In contrast
, if a person has lower
education Correct article usage
a lower
levels
, Fix the agreement mistake
level
one
can only become a labour force or worker.
On the other hand
, some people
can become successful without university
degrees. For example
, the most popular social media platform, Facebook, was established by a university
student that
later decided to drop out of school to pursue his career. Correct pronoun usage
who
That is
to say, without university
degrees, one
can achieve success in their career. However
, the chances are slim for ordinary people
, in which the possibility can be only one
in a million. To succeed while
having lower education levels requires talents
, money, and Fix the agreement mistake
talent
lucks
, and most Correct subject-verb agreement
luck
people
do not acquire all of these requirements.
In conclusion, although
some persons
can achieve promising careers, the chances that it will happen to the majority of Replace the word
people
people
are slim. Graduating from a university
is the best guarantee that one
will be employed in a good firm.Submitted by boon.aksornukul on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more developed. Ensure a clear thesis statement and summary of main points are included in both sections.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Consider discussing the advantages and disadvantages in more detail to enhance the task response.