IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

‘All children should learn to speak a foreign language as soon as they start school.’ How far do you agree with this proposal? How important is it for a child to learn a foreign language?

#‘all #children #language #school #child
It is almost universally accepted that individuals should start learning
other
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
language
 when they are at a young
age
.
However
, the concept might have flaws in some ways. First of all, it is
inescapable
Correct article usage
an inescapable
show examples
 fact that every child has different degrees of learning speed.
Thus
, the idea that every
youngsters
Change to a singular noun
youngster
show examples
 should be learning a new
language
 as soon as they start
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
 brings consequences for some students including failure to
study
 their own
language
. Increased pressure to
study
other
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
language
 may
grow
Verb problem
increase
show examples
 the
possibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
possibility
show examples
 of inadequate attention to
study for
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 their mother tongue. Since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
language
 is the
basic
Replace the word
basis
show examples
 of learning classes, it is possible that children may fail other
school
 subjects as well.
Secondly
, beginning to learn a
language
 later than the first grade doesn’t necessarily have unfortunate results. In Japan, an interesting
study
 has been conducted. One
school
 has started teaching a
language
 from their primary
school
 and the other has started from the middle
school
. When participants graduated high
school
, the students who started learning a new
language
 from middle
school
 had not just the same skills, but some of them even exceeded
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the students who started learning from elementary
school
.
This
study
 suggests that starting at
later
Correct article usage
a later
show examples
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 doesn’t have substantial effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 learning
language
. Admittedly, I agree with those who believe to
start learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
 a new
language
 at a young
age
 is imperative. As Nelson Mandela once
told
Verb problem
said
show examples
, “If you speak to a man in a
language
 he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to his own
language
 that goes to his heart”. Without a doubt, there are delightful advantages. Namely, to widen
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
show examples
 to learn things, to have more career options and to improve the
overall
 memory.
However
,
this
 becomes
impractical
Correct article usage
an impractical
show examples
 aspiration when it comes to every child.
Overall
, children’s different levels of learning speed and
indifferent
Add an article
the indifferent
an indifferent
show examples
 result of starting to learn at a young
age
 or a later
age
 are the main causes that
suggests
Change the verb form
suggest
show examples
 it wouldn’t
suitable
Add a missing verb
be suitable
show examples
 for every child.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: