Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective reducing crime.
The number of crimes that young people are involved
is
Change preposition
in is
increased
in the world. Wrong verb form
increasing
This
essay appears that is
focused on two causesWrong verb form
be
,
and a number of solutions. One of the most significant causes of increasing crime is that they are alone at home mostly time without their parents. Most Remove the comma
apply
of
mothers and fathers usually have a job, and they spend at their work constantly eight hours each workday. Change preposition
apply
Thus
, they don’t know what their children do. Another cause is social networks such
as Youtube channels, Tik Tok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
and
Facebook etc. It is possible to watch widelyCorrect word choice
apply
contents
which is mature. Turning to possible solutions, the government or organization may reduce working hours, which means that the workforce dedicates less time Fix the agreement mistake
content
for
their work. Change preposition
to
For example
, in Germany, the labour law states that maximum working times are 6 hours. If we made a change this
way, the family would be together sufficiently. Definitely, the parents never instruct anyone who they love the worst thing to do. A second remedy might be a payment for the content that is
included crime
investigation programs that are news and videos. In Change preposition
in crime
case
, Correct determiner usage
this case
the
young people might be could not watch it, because they don’t have Correct article usage
apply
a
money enough. Remove the article
apply
Furthermore
, watching a movie, reading a book or little trips will be interesting for them. In summary, the number of crimes is rising among adolescents. There seem to be two factors that
adults work a long time and Correct pronoun usage
apply
social
sensitive videos are free. If we will accomplish Change the word
socially
solutions
that appeared for the essay, it will be possible to decrease it.Correct article usage
the solutions
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite