Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

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There are differing opinions regarding whether young individuals should devote all their time and effort solely to their academic studies or explore other extracurricular subjects. In my opinion, the latter perspective holds more merit for several reasons, which will be elaborated upon in the following paragraphs. On one hand, there are notable advantages to specializing exclusively in one field.

Firstly

, it enables individuals to focus their efforts on acquiring extensive knowledge in their chosen area. To illustrate

this

point, distractions can hinder concentration, making it more challenging for young people to broaden their intellectual horizons.

For instance

, a medical student aiming to develop a deep understanding of medical literature should dedicate their time to reading the latest research available online.

On the other hand

, in today's world, possessing a multidimensional skill set has become increasingly crucial

due to

recent global changes across various aspects of life. Having a comprehensive understanding of multiple fields ensures a promising and rewarding future career, as the modern world has undergone substantial transformations. To provide an example, the rise of artificial intelligence (AI) has revolutionized numerous job sectors.

Consequently

, predicting the future has become challenging

due to

its inherent uncertainties. From my perspective, a broader awareness and a diverse range of transferable skills guarantee success in one's desired profession.

For instance

, when I embarked on my own venture in newborn photography, I found it necessary to acquire knowledge in areas

such

as advertising, business planning, and customer service to achieve my goals. In conclusion,

while

maintaining a strong focus on a particular subject can yield benefits in various aspects, individuals should

also

possess a broader knowledge base to swiftly pursue their objectives, given the rapid technological changes occurring worldwide.

Submitted by parsaj1381 on Thu Oct 31 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure each paragraph flows into the next logically to enhance coherence and cohesion. Transitional phrases or words could be more clearly utilized to connect ideas and sections of the essay.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points and hence strengthen the task achievement. This will help make your argument more convincing and relatable.

Task Achievement

Explore deeper insights and diverse viewpoints to develop more comprehensive ideas in your response. Consider what counterarguments might say and address them.

Coherence and Cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the essay's argument.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which enhances task achievement.

Task Achievement

The essay includes some relevant examples from personal experience, aiding in making your arguments relatable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Rich people are getting richer, and poor people are getting poorer. The gap between rich and poor people is widening. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?

In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the internet.

Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animal and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

Some educationists think that international exchange visits will benefit the teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

What do you think about celebrities? Are celebrities good or bad for you?