IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

write an opinion essay on the topic: Cinema will soon be a thing of the past

#topic #cinema
Nowadays, going to the
cinema
 is an exciting and popular free time activity, especially for us teenagers. Some
people
 think that it could be replaced by new technologies in future, but they might be wrong. On the one hand,
cinema
 is threatened by modern technologies.
People
 have a smartphone, laptop or tablet and they can see absolutely everything online.
This
 allows them to watch a large number of movies without going to the
cinema
, as it
also
 saves on their budget.
Moreover
, there is at least one large smart TV in each home, on which
people
 record their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 movies or shows, with the function to go back and watch them whenever they want.
On the other hand
, going to the
cinema
 is a common way
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 spending our free time. As a part of
Add an article
the entertaining
show examples
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
industry
Add a comma
,industry
show examples
 I believe it will keep its top place in the list of
people
’s favourite
pastime
Fix the agreement mistake
pastimes
show examples
. What’s more, going to the
cinema
 has always been a way to meet friends, to have fun and to socialize. Watching a comedy, action or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thriller on the big screen is a way to share special moments with close
people
. In conclusion, I think
cinema
 will remain both in the past and in the future, as there will be many new movies and those who go to the
cinema
 know that
this
 pleasure is worth it.
Submitted by taniadim74 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: