IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Write a letter to friend to inform them of a celebration you are having for a recent job promotion. Include information about The promotion The celebration Their accommodation

#friend #celebration #job #promotion #information #accommodation
Hello, my dear friend, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I want to share my delight with you. As you know, I have been working in
this
 company for 3 years, and I have participated in
competition
Add an article
the competition
a competition
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 for position of the head manager. Today I got
this
 place. I wanted to notify you that my company decided to celebrate it and I want to invite you, my best friend, to participate in
this
 party. It
tooks
Correct your spelling
took
 place on the next week, on Friday, August 15th, in the amazing restaurant
in
Change preposition
apply
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Downtown.
Moreover
, they are paying all the fees for me, my family, and my best friends, so you don't need to pay.
Finally
, I got it after
the
Correct article usage
apply
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years of hard work. My dream has come true. I hope you understand how
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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excited I am. I look forward to seeing you next week. Let me know
that
Correct word choice
if
show examples
 it's suitable for you. Best regards, Anastassia.
Submitted by anastasia on

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coherence cohesion
Try to arrange your ideas into clear paragraphs for better readability. For example, one paragraph can be about the promotion, another about the celebration, and the last one can explain the accommodation details.
task achievement
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors like 'It tooks place,' which should be 'It takes place,' to improve clarity.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is friendly and inviting, which is very suitable for the context.
task achievement
The letter provides comprehensive details about the promotion, the celebration, and accommodations, effectively covering all required points.
coherence cohesion
You included a personal touch by sharing your excitement and dreams, making the letter engaging for your friend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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