Some people think that children should be encouraged to travel more while at school to broaden their experience. Others think that not enough time is spent in the classroom learning the basics of a good education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people encouraged children to
travel
more and other people think just spent
time
on basics good education. While I agree that spent more
time
to
Change the verb form
traveling
show examples
travel
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
classroom learning
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more than
travel
Wrong verb form
traveling
show examples
. The first reason I support
travel
more is that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
could better feel
this
world and more clearly know and understand what
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
.
For example
, when
students
study
Georgrapgy
Correct your spelling
Geography
, History,Literature. Taking children to experience some places where
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
can plan go that will make them remember more.clearly.Just like many schools will organize
students
to go to history museums and forest parks. Is to let
students
understand the knowledge in the book. Of course, some
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
can’t balance
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
and
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxing
show examples
as well. So they will become lazy,because of their self-control. So I support
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
must less than 40% and class learning is more important. The
second
reason I encourage to
travel
more is that release pressure.
For example
, if
students
always
study
on
Change preposition
under
show examples
pressure, their learning efficiency will be reduced.
On
Change preposition
The
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the
time
,
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
can’t concentrate on the class. But they need more
time
to
study
than to
travel
, which will not make them lazy.
Submitted by myang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: