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Band 3.5

Working long hours causes a great deal of stress and can be very bad for one's health. VinMec’s top management must find a way to reduce this type of stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#hours #stress #health #vinmec’s #management #type
I
am totally agree
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totally agree
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 with
this
 due to the productive factor and the shortage of medical manpower It is true that long hours working
ot
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not
 only causes stress to workers but can
also
 reduce their
caoncentration
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concentration
 on work
whichj
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which
 could affect
on
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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working productivity. Because of the
limitted
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limited
 amount of time that people can fully focus,
doctor
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doctors
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 or nurses can easily make if they can not get appropriate break time.
There fore
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Therefore
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 it may affect to patient's health.
In addition
, many
worker
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workers
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 might
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dissatisfied
dissatified
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be dissatified
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 with their working environment,
as a result
, many of them possibly quit their jobs or to other
As a result
 out of the company can be affected.
Morever
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Moreover
, people working under pressure are like to have several issues
ralated
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related
 to
mantal
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mental
 illness with a great number of doctors and nurses having
unstable
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the unstable
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 mentality, Vinmec hospital might face unrest
critises
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criticises
, especially lack
of
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apply
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medical manpower.
This
 will put more stress on the human
resourse
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resource
resources
 staff in the hospital. To some extent, due to thick working
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schedules
shedules
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,shedules
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 young people can not balance their daily
ilfe
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life
also
 in additional factor which is contributed to stress In conclusion, because of
aforementioned
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the aforementioned
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opinoins
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opinions
,
Vinmec
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the Vinmec
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 staff leader board must come up with appropriate management to resolve
this
 problem
Submitted by nhudinhngocanh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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