IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

1. Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be healthy and have a balanced diet. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
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 accelerated world where we are living at the moment results easy to delegate education
role
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roles
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 to teachers, nowadays, parents expect
from
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apply
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school
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 to educate
children
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 in values and
behaviors
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behaviours
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 as well as sciences and languages. There are different points of view for
this
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 topic and it would be
discussing
Wrong verb form
discussed
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 in
this
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 essay.
Children
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 spend most of their time at
school
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, probably
that is
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 the reason why people think
this
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 important task should be delivered by them.
However
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,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 lifestyle and how to keep a balanced diet in my opinion should be a family responsibility, encouraging
children
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 to have an outdoor preference
instead
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 of a sedentary one and choose fruit and vegetables
instead
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 of fast food.
For instance
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, in a family with healthy habits where they prefer to do some sports and prepare their own meal it is more likely to follow
this
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 conduct in
school
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.
On the other hand
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,
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children
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for children
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 who
has
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have
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 learned at home to stay sitting on the couch watching television or playing with their phones while they are eating junk food, it is unlikely they will enjoy an outdoor day at
school
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 exercising.
Therefore
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, it is not a
school
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 responsibility to promote a healthy lifestyle, because it is a conduct that
children
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 incorporate in early childhood. In conclusion, schools can support what families encourage
to
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apply
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their
children
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 to learn and the habits that they are developing.
Furthermore
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, schools can introduce as well discipline to follow
this
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 routine.
Nevertheless
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, bad habits acquired at home can be
a
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apply
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detrimental nurture for offspring.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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