Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the contemporary era, there are conflicting views about the key to achieving optimum fitness.
While
Linking Words
some citizens believe that doing regular exercise is the decisive method, others believe that having a balanced diet is the main condition to maintain health. I am in favour of the view that both ways are necessary. On the one hand, there are many reasons why some think that exercise regularly helps
people
Use synonyms
to be healthier.
To begin
Linking Words
, some individuals hold the view that physical activities can reduce the risks of chronic diseases. The bodies of the ones exercising on a daily basis will improve in terms of cardiovascular health, and diminish blood pressure and cholesterol levels so that they can extend life expectancy.
For example
Linking Words
, an elderly will be capable of living up to 90 years old if
this
Linking Words
person exercises at a medium level for a long time. Another reason is to lose weight. Working out day by day is claimed to reduce the redundant body weight and burn more calories in the process.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
running 15 minutes every day for 3 months can lose from 3 to 4 kilos of excessive fat.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some residents would agree that a balanced diet is the key to being in good shape. The most important reason for
this
Linking Words
way is to relieve stress. When
people
Use synonyms
absorb clean and fresh foods, their bodies will convert them into well-substances which supply energy for individuals.
Therefore
Linking Words
, eating well after working out as fit as a fiddle can stimulate happiness, optimism and positivity in each person.
In addition
Linking Words
, healthy eating
also
Linking Words
supports the majority of the population in enhancing memories and brain strength. To illustrate, in one meal, some foods,
such
Linking Words
as fish, beef, vegetables, and oranges are digested and converted into fat, protein, and vitamins, which are essentially good for personal well-being.
Then
Linking Words
, step by step, the blood circulation to the brain will increase, and
due to
Linking Words
that, the percentage of the population having Alzheimer's disease will decrease. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
exercise regularly is a factor that makes the body always strong and fit,
this
Linking Words
way needs to be combined with a reasonable eating system to be effective. From my perspective,
people
Use synonyms
should apply both methods to become physically and mentally well-being.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
In general, your essay is well-organized and covers both aspects of the argument effectively. However, there are areas where you can improve the clarity of your ideas. For example, the phrase 'working out as fit as a fiddle' is a bit unclear in context and could be rephrased for clarity.
task achievement
Some phrases and grammatical structures are awkward or slightly incorrect, such as 'reduce the redundant body weight' and 'healthy eating also supports the majority of the population in enhancing memories.' More precise language would increase the overall clarity and sophistication of your response.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. For example, combining shorter sentences or breaking down complex ones can provide a better flow for your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing both views and provides a clear thesis statement, indicating that both exercise and balanced diet are necessary for optimum health.
supported main points
You provide relevant, specific examples to support your main points, such as the benefits of exercise on cardiovascular health and dietary effects on mental well-being.
logical structure
The essay structure is logical and easy to follow, with clear transitions between paragraphs that make it easier to understand the argument being presented.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
What to do next:
Look at other essays: