More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why? Who benefits more from this, the community or these young people?

#people #countries #time #communities #work #houses #community

An increasing number of youngsters from developed

nations

are moving to underdeveloped

nations

for a short period of time to do

volunteer

work

such

as teaching or constructing houses for local

people

This

essay discusses possible reasons for

this

and I believe that

this

trend

is more beneficial to these young

people

. There are some reasons why doing

volunteer

work in underdeveloped

nations

is becoming increasingly popular among young

people

from rich

nations

. The

first

reason is that schools in developed

nations

tend to encourage their students to take part in

volunteer

campaigns in deprived communities.

This

activity is a part of their educational goals which aims to improve youngsters’ social responsibility and help them become global citizens. Another reason is that young

people

are eager to explore the world and broaden their knowledge about different cultures.

Therefore

, doing

volunteer

work in underdeveloped

nations

has become an ideal way to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their eagerness. I believe that

this

trend

is more advantageous to these youngsters.

Firstly

through

Change preposition

show examples

helping

people

in poorer countries to have better living conditions and educational opportunities, these volunteers can enrich their social experience which plays a vital role in their future career path.

For example

, teaching English to children and taking care of the elderly in deprived areas are valuable experiences for youngsters from developed

nations

who want to become teachers or doctors.

Furthermore

, young

people

will have to overcome many difficulties

such

as culture shock, language barrier, and bad weather to provide aid for the community in underdeveloped

nations

Therefore

, their willpower can

be strengthen

Change the verb form

be strengthened

show examples

and help them become more mature. In conclusion, educational goals of schools in developed

nations

and youngsters’ eagerness to explore the world are two main reasons for the increasing number of young volunteers in deprived

nations

. I believe these young

people

will achieve more benefits from

this

trend

than the local community because

this

trend

can help them accumulate social experience and enhance their willpower.

Submitted by tthuongulaw on Mon Jan 24 2022

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for instance
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such as
namely
to illustrate
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why? Who benefits more from this, the community or these young people?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. So, some people suggest that companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree ?

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

Nowadays, stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think is the cause of this? What solution can you suggest?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?