More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why? Who benefits more from this, the community or these young people?

#people #countries #time #communities #work #houses #community

An increasing number of youngsters from developed

nations

are moving to underdeveloped

nations

for a short period of time to do

volunteer

work

such

as teaching or constructing houses for local

people

This

essay discusses possible reasons for

this

and I believe that

this

trend

is more beneficial to these young

people

. There are some reasons why doing

volunteer

work in underdeveloped

nations

is becoming increasingly popular among young

people

from rich

nations

. The

first

reason is that schools in developed

nations

tend to encourage their students to take part in

volunteer

campaigns in deprived communities.

This

activity is a part of their educational goals which aims to improve youngsters’ social responsibility and help them become global citizens. Another reason is that young

people

are eager to explore the world and broaden their knowledge about different cultures.

Therefore

, doing

volunteer

work in underdeveloped

nations

has become an ideal way to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their eagerness. I believe that

this

trend

is more advantageous to these youngsters.

Firstly

through

Change preposition

show examples

helping

people

in poorer countries to have better living conditions and educational opportunities, these volunteers can enrich their social experience which plays a vital role in their future career path.

For example

, teaching English to children and taking care of the elderly in deprived areas are valuable experiences for youngsters from developed

nations

who want to become teachers or doctors.

Furthermore

, young

people

will have to overcome many difficulties

such

as culture shock, language barrier, and bad weather to provide aid for the community in underdeveloped

nations

Therefore

, their willpower can

be strengthen

Change the verb form

be strengthened

show examples

and help them become more mature. In conclusion, educational goals of schools in developed

nations

and youngsters’ eagerness to explore the world are two main reasons for the increasing number of young volunteers in deprived

nations

. I believe these young

people

will achieve more benefits from

this

trend

than the local community because

this

trend

can help them accumulate social experience and enhance their willpower.

Submitted by tthuongulaw on Mon Jan 24 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why? Who benefits more from this, the community or these young people?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that success in life comes from hardwork and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?