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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

To succeed in a business, one needs to know maths. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#business #maths
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Currently, there is a controversial notion heating a debate over the fact that whether to be home and dry when running a
business
Use synonyms
, people are required to
competent
Add a missing verb
be competent
show examples
 at numbers. While
this
Linking Words
 statement is valid to a number of
extent
Change to a plural noun
extents
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, I would contend that
this
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 is not the only vital factor that helps entrepreneurs attain fruits. Without a shadow of a doubt, making calculations is the nature of
business
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, especially in trading commercial products. Apparently, numbers are usually used to analyze markets and determine the target customers, which play
such
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 a paramount significant role in the high-flyer achievement of the company.
For example
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, two ubiquitous brands, Channel and Gucci, which are the leading companies in the high-end fashion industry can be cited as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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promising examples. They are required to have analyzing departments and monthly reports to have a firm grasp
about
Change preposition
of
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 the segment of consumers, who splurge money on their products.
Hence
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, they can easily release new collections that provide the most satisfaction for their customers. Due to these redeeming features, it is irrefutable to note down that operating math is the essence of
business
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.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 the merits of math are widely acknowledged, there is a wealth of features that play a significant role for people to run a successful
business
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, especially
leadership
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. Undoubtedly, there is a frenzy of work in various fields that an entrepreneur is unable to handle in a company.
Hence
Linking Words
 he has a tendency to hire employees to take charge of these fields, and he can save time for other paramount decisions.
For instance
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, Pham Nhat Vuong, who is a well-known businessman of a harmonious combination company in Vietnam, had used his great
leadership
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 to lead a myriad of workers and obtained a high-flyer position.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is reasonable to note that
leadership
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 plays
such
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 a vital role in one’s successful
business
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. In conclusion, while it is true that mathematics is the substance of a commercial,
leadership
Use synonyms
 can still bring advantageous effects on employers’ achievements.
Submitted by colennaooo on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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